The Adventures of Hildreannaleena
by Reenava
Summary: the adventures of Hildreannaleena before Skyrim High is set. Skyrim High is my other fanfic you can read if you want
1. Hildreannaleena goes to Whiterun

Author Notes: Hi everyerone again, I hope you enjoyed my last story Skyrim High which I juiced finished, I enjoyd writin it so much ( the nice complemints and revews were what made it so enjoy) I decided to write a prequal – the Adventures of Hildreannaleena which is about hildreannaleena adventure set before skyrim high takes place, if you haven't red skyrim high yet then you can take a look : )

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters of skyrim except the ones I made up

Adventure 1: Hildreannaleena goes to Writewun

Omg I was totes drivin to Whiterun in my totes car, it was a Rolex car my ex-boyfredn got for our 2 minutes anniversary. It was gold color I was drivin thru a town called Helgen and I stopped at the Salad shop for a helthy lunch and suddenly… A DRAGEN ATTACKIN! Omg it was totes black and looked supar eval.

"omg who is that totes dragon?" I asked the salad seller, his name was Hadvar. He was totally wearin a basketball top that said 'Skyrim High Imperials' it had a picter of a dragen, I guess it was the totally baskeball team from the hi skewl here or sumthin.

"that is aldewin hes the totes schol bulley at our skol." Then hadvar runn away from the salad shop becos it on fier.

I had to totes run away omg I went underground, eww it smellt bad here so I spayed totes deszigner perfume on myself.

Omg we got outside and hadvar sed to go and tell the Jarl of whiterunny abowt the dragern omg I totes had lsot my car oh no. Eww I had to catch a bus it had commoners on it. I hate pubic transport its for pour pepel and I am hildreannaleena I am rish and fashenable.

Omg we arrived in whiterun and the totes guards said no you carnt com in its closed becos dragens so I said excuse me I am totes Hildreannaleena and I totes need to speak to the jar of whiterun and they said ok and I was totes in whiteun. I totally went to like, Dragonreach, the like, big expensive mansen on the hill. On the way I met a totally redgourd called Nazeem.

"omg you look ugl6 and pour said Nazeem he was totes a snob'

"excuse me I am totes Hildreannaleena don't diss me"

I wwanked away becos I am mature and kno how to walk away from an argue.

omg I got to dragensreich and I saw the totes url sittin on his thrown, he had blodne hare and a beerd and expensive designer clothes.

"excuse me there is a dragon," I totlly said.

"":Umm my fredn, he is the Caught Wizard, he is gonna make you get dragenstones.

Thte totes cort wizard was called Farenger and he was kind of totes ugly but whatevs. I went into a totes cave and got dragonstonres, I hat to spray air freshener becos the cave stinky so bad. At the end there was a totes computer, it said

'HILDREANNALEENA SAY FUS."

So I said fus but it did nothing. Lol it was probably just a prank by Farenger he seemed silly so I ignort it, no1 els cud know who my name is and that I wos hier anyway.

I totes caught the bus back to whiteru (totes eww ikr) but wen I totes arrived whiteun was on fiar!1

"what the totes oblivion is happning?" I arksed totally

'A DRENGEN IS ATTACKIN!" showted a totes gudn, his name was Kyler.

"he is totes secretly the daydra Methrunes Dagon," whispered a guy about kyler.

"I am sexy" said Kyler and he ran owtside and got burnt by the dragen, there was nothing left but ash.

Ogm I ran outsid and saw the dragen, it was totes flyin arownd in circles. I totes fiared and arrow and hit it in the hed it died becos the arrow was magical it was called _The Totes Magicel Arrow_. It was a designer arrow. Omg suddenly the dragen started burnin and lots of magical flowed into me!

"OMG HILDRE TOTES ANNALEENA YOU'RE THE DRAGENBURN'

Omg

Omg I hope you all like the first adventure ofhildreannaleena, I thort I wud start at the start where she was totally the dragenburn. The next one will be hildreannaleens first day at skyrim totally high


	2. Hildreannaleena's first day

Adventure 2: Hildreannaleena's first day

Omg I hat to totes go to a totally new skewl after my old school Helgen High got burnt down and everyone totally died. Omg I had to totally make new friends and stuff… what if I wasnent the most poplar? Omg I dident want to think about that possibley I would totes be the most poplar, I have the best hairstyle and face mods and all my clothes are from designer. I have nevr biugt anuthng for less than 5000g. I was totes walkin to shol, I was totally nervus. I saw a totes guy leanin against a wole smoking wif some dragons that totes had motorbikes.

"who are u" asked the leader guy OMG IT WAS TOTES ALDUIN alduin totally burnt down my old hi skewl.

"omg I recognize him," said a dragon, "she was on tv shes the dragenburn be careful she might kill you and apsorop your sole!"

"No thanks," said Laduin.

"Let's not bashup, she is new it will be a bad first impress."

"Odourviig you such a loser," I heard ALduin sayin but I hat already worked away.

Omg I got to the totally gate, it said SKYRIM HIGH I read the describe '_The totally biggest High Skewl in Skyrim_' and some other borin stuff abowt edycation that I dident reed becos it was borin lol

I totes walked thro the doubbel doors, and to my new lcoakr. I saw a totes gurl next to my locker, she was warin a cheerleedin outfit that said Skyrim High Imperials on it I totes knew that was the baskertball teem. She was totes gettin red pompoms from her locker. She turned sudden and accidental bash into me and my buks went all ova the floor.

"oh my totally nine divins, I'm so sorry she started pickin up my books no it's ok honestly I said," are you sure?" yes

"my totes name is Rikke, Legate Rikke I'm the Head cheerleader for our barsketball teem, I'm totes datin our star basketballer ulferic he is totes cute lol"

"Oh lol im totes Hildreannaleena, I'm the dragenburn im not datin any1 lol my bf dumped me for a gurl and then got burnt to dead by Aldawin lol karma."

"omg I haf totes seed you on tv."

"Yeah im new at this skewl.

"its ok you can be my totes bffl if you like' omg we were totes bffls now

I was warkin to mu first clas with Rikke it was Maths which was totes borin but I dident want to wag classes already on my thirst day at this skewl lol. Im a totes rbel and I like, wag clases all the tiem. We wer put in a seatin arrangement in maths ugh I was never comin to a maths calss again I had to sit next to a totes ugel NIRD called Calcelmo and on the other side was odahvegatables alduins friend ugh. He was a dragen and took up so much room I was totes squished.

I was totes passin a note to totally Rikke when the teacher, she was totally called Sybille Stentor. Omg she was rood and I dident like her, she made me give the note it said _this calss is borin im waggin the othar maths lol_ uh oh mers stentor looked SO MAD

Uh oh I got sent to the princapel office, this was totes not a good first day.

"Hildreannaleena it am extreme rude to pass notes," said the principle, he was call Titus Mede.

"Sorry printaple Mede I promise not to do it again."

"It ok. Also Hildreannaleena you need Dragenburn traynin, you shud totes trane with the Gaybreards. Ulferic Stromclok is alredy train with them."

"wow realy? That is totes awesome, thanks for the oppochurnity."

"That is ok Hildreannaleena the Dobahik. I am glad to see you are a grapeful person."

Omg it was totally lunchtime and I sat at the totes table with Rikke, she was totally popular and all the coolest kids with designer clothes were sittin here. There was a reel pritty gurl called Elisif, she was nearly pretty as me. She had blodne hare so she was probs dum becos blodn people are usual dumb no offend to blonde people. She had blue eyes. Next to her was a guy Rikke said him name was Torygg and he was Elisif's totes bf, he was the most poplar guy at skewl. Ulfric wasent there he was Rikke's totes bf and he was traynin with the greybeerds, I dident start tran until tomorrow. There was also a girl called Jordis the Shield Maiden. And also the guard from whiterun, Kyler, it turned out her only broke his leg when he got burnt to ashes by the dragen.

"Oh my like, totes god," are the dragonBORN?" arsked Jordis.

"ye

" wowowowow can I have your autograph"?

Omg I knew I was totes poplar but I didnent think ppl wud want my automobile! I was so flattered omg

The next totally day I was with the greyburds, they were totes kind of boring but I learnt some cool shouts like fus ro dah and yol toor shul which breaths fire and a whirlwindn one so I cud move fats. Omg I would totes win all the races at school ports. I looked over at totes Ulferic he was totes had an anger look on his expression.

"What's wrong?" I asked

"NOTHIN" he totes snappied like an crocodile.

Wow I wunder wut his problem is. …

When I totes came out of the jim I walked into ODAHVEG THE GUY FROM ALDEWINS GANGPLANK

"Hi Hildreanneleena," he said friendlily but I knew he wasent rly friendly.

"omg go away Odahviig I knoew yu are a totes member of Laduin's gang."

"Wait no Hildreannaleena I wanna be your friend, can I tell you a totes secret you have to promise not tot ell anyone especially not alduib,"

Ok

"I am secretly a crossdresser" he whipsered so no one wud here.

"omg oderveg I carnt believe a totes crossdresser in Alduin gang!"

"I know I want to leave can you totes help me confront him?"

"ODAHVEH YOU'RE A CROSSDRESSER?" oh my god it was totes alduin he looked totes mad becos he was racist to crossdressers :(

Hi everyone thanks for read this chapter, it's going to be in 2 parts. If you wud like your charactar feechured, then please say its name, race and gender in the comments and I will feature :))


	3. Skyrim High Skewl

Uh oh we totes hat to stand up against the mean bully Aldawin.

'Aldawin I don't want to be in your gang no more," said Odourveg. Suddenly a fabulous sparkle dress appeared on him, omg it looked so good I was totes jelly.

"Omg Odah totes viig, you should be a totally model!"

Uh oh Aldwin was jelus, he wanted to be a model too, but his dad wouldn't let him incase he got pregnernat.

"Dayum," said a rnadem warkin past, he also couldn't believ how good Odahvig looked.

"I hate you odaehvegan," said Alduin

Alduin it is not nice to be racist"I said"

I don't care I H8 CROSSDRESSARS"

Omg he was so mean. He breathed in a deep breath and dragon shoted YOOOL TUUU SHUL which breathes fire, and burnt odahviig's dress off.

"Oh no that was expensive and now im naked said Odavhiig except it is ok for a dragon to be naked.

we heard a weird noise and turned around ALDUIN HAD MADE EVERYONE NAKED EWWW except me of course because im classy.

Oh my god we had to find the reverse speel!"

"Hildreannaleena have you heard the tale of when Sangawin the daedra lawd maked everyone naked at the Countess's party in cyrodaffodil?" asked Odabhe

"No

"Well mabye he knows how to make ppl not nake!"

Oh my totes god yes what a food idea "said me"

We were flyin to the cassel where Sangawin lives, hes the daedra lord of silly and debutchery. We found him hanging around dabcing.

"Hi Sang=gue," I sayd.

"Hi who are you."

I was shokced, he dident even know who I was!

"Don't u watch tv?" I totes asked

"No

Well im hildreannaleena, the dragonborn and also fames. I need ur halp.

Why would I halp u lol

Becos im the coolest kid at skewl and if you don't help I will start a rumer abowt u

"Ok, he saed," I will help if you bisit me at the whiterun inn at night tonight."

Omg it was night and I was at the whiterun inn but sanfgein wasent there, wtf how rude. Suddenly a random guy called Sam came up to me, his name was Sam/

"Hi wanna have a drinkin contest."

Well u carnt be a kool kid without bein a bit badass, so I drank the contest, omg I woke up.

"Hi guess what you married a goat and sold a giant to a hag," laughed Odavhigg.

"omg WHAT I carnt marry a goat that's totes uncool, omg don't tell anyone we have to keep it quiet."

Odahvegatable pulled his phone out from his handbag that he had and showed me my facebook profile. Omg it said relationship status: totes married to::: Moira the Goat

OH NO A LEBSIAN GOAT this was embarrass. Omg we hat to fix the sityuayshon. I quicjly changed my relationship status to single :3 and pretended it was just a joke, oh no moira angry facebook messaged me sayin BFTHC WHY U DO THIS. Oh no I turned around and there was her!1! she was a hag and she was really ugly.

"HILDREANNALEENA YOU H8 ME!" she uh oh totally try to stab me! Suddenly heroically to the rescue a totes half Khajiit half sow elf called Vicktorriya. She left flower tails when the wanked around. I knew Vicktorriya she went to my kinfergarten but the kids mayd fun off her becos she half sow elf so she totally got homskewled. Vicktorriya totes stab Moira and moira die.

'omg you saved my life," said me.

"its ok said totes Vicktorriya,:

The next day Sangawin comed to my hows, totes creepy! Lol he gave me a totally staff that summons a totally dremora daydra and sed it funny that I marry a goat/ omg when I got to school I summoned the dremora it was a fashion daedra and it put fashionable clothes on everyone with its magical hands, and danced.

Hi everyone thanks for reed! Im sorry I not add your charactar in this time Maximsk but I promis to make him in the next chapter : )


	4. Hildreannaleena and the Dark Brotherhood

Hildreannaleena and the Dark Brotherhood

I totally went to sit at the poplar table at the cafeteria and saw diffrant ppl sittin ther! Omg it was a blodne gurl, a dark hair byo and an argonian red and black.  
>"Excus me this is my table," I sed.<br>"no I am astrid I am dark brohood I can do what I want."  
>"don't be bfith"<br>"hey that is my totes gf, Astrid," said the guy  
>"yeah don't be mean to Arnbjorn, me or Jet Black he was the argonian"<br>"How am I bean mean, I just came ovar hier and you were sittin at my table and you startin bein r00d!"  
>"bitsh you'll pay fur this." Sed Astred.<br>"whatevs,' I totes walked away swagaliciously. I could tell that the dark brohood were totes jelly of me because I was the prettiest and most poplar gurl at Skyrim totally High even though I'd only been here for like a week lol.

Omg it was totes evening time, 10pm at nite and I was tired and textin my besties Odahveg the crossdresser dagen and Rikke. We were totes talking about nail Polish.. omg I fell asleep becos 2 tired oops.

OMG WHEN I WOKE UP I DIDENT RECAGNIZE THE PLACE!1! I WSAS KIDNAPPED!1  
>I cud see a gurl sittin on a shelf, but she was wearin a marsk so I cudent recognaze her.<br>"You were a total bitjh you haf a lot of nerve bein so rood to totes Astrid, the leeder of the Dark Brotherhopd! I have a choice for u, jone us or die!" omg a totes deth threat, but I wasent afrade becos I was the dragonborn and cud easily beet Astrid in a fite, but I was curies I wanted to see what the dark brothood was liek.  
>"Ok I will john you."<br>"You have to assassinise someone, can you kill my ex he totes cheeted on me : ( said Astried.  
>"yeha whats his name?"<br>"Bob

Omg I totes saw bob sittin in the cafeteria tomorrow, he was totally on the basketbowl teem. He thought he was reely kool with his friends. His best friend was Tullius, the totes Team Captian of the Imperious, which is our baksetball team here at skyrem hiy. Tuliu was totes ugly lol Rikke said he is her totes ex but he cheeatahed for a high elf. Omg Bob was sittin there thinkin he was better than evry1 else because he was good at baskertball, so I totes shot him with a bough and arrow. He died

I was reapply my makeup in the bathroom while Elisif my other bestie was totes poopin in the stall and sudden Astrid came in!  
>"Thank you for assassinise Bob, he was totes mean Arnbjorn is totally bettar! You are now a membrane of the dark brothadrood come and meet us at the sanctuary neer dawnstar tomorrow at 6:00pm don't be l8." Then she walked out of the totelaits her butt was reely big I noticed.<br>"oh my totally god," said Elisif coming out of the stall and washing her hands with fragnance sope. "I carnt beleef you murderered Bob to get into the dirk brotharhoof!11"  
>"shhh don't tell nay1 or I will get expeeld Murder is totally aganst the schol rules' I said warningly.<br>"I promis not to your secret is saef with your bestie."  
>At 6:00pm I was totally at Dornstar. I found the sanctuary and said the pw to the door and it let me in, lol totes cool. Inside were lots of ppl, a children who was telling a circle of ppl about the guy she murdered. There was also Jet Black.<br>"Welcome Hildreannaleena," he said," He was totes an argonian. "hi" I said  
>"btw be careful of Astrid she might tell on you she's kind of mean"  
>"ok thx"

"Hail Sithis said Astrid, Sithis was the dark lurd. He was the worship of the drak brodh. "Ok we are gonna send you on missions go and talk to Nazir he Is totally a mission.

I went into a room and there was a totally red gourd sitting at the table reedin The Adventures of Barenziah. It's about a dark elf gurl who is still alive like 1k years later becos dark elves live a long time.  
>"Hi I need a missen."<br>"Cool can you assassinate Sapphire from the thieves guld becos she said my phone was old fashened. He ponted to his Nokia phon."  
>Omg I was not a murdarar and this was wrong, and sapphire dident even go to our school she was a hairdresser so I just dident do it and lied that I did and they gave me munney anyway! Lol how dum. I did that for all my contracts too XD<p>

"Hildreannaleena are you lyin abowt kilin ppl? Cos I saw Sapphire 2dai!' said Jet, uh oh he totes knew!  
>"mabye lol I said"<br>"Uh oh if asturd finds owt shes gonan be so mad!"  
>"OMG HILDREANNALEENA I KNOW UR SECRAT" uh oh it was totes Astrid she knew!<p>

* * *

><p>Hi thanks 4 reed! Im gonna mayk both of ur charactars have big roles in the next chapter : ) hope you enjoy I am sorry for not much update recently I have be'd busy : ( But now I have write another sotry to make up for it, Oblivion High, for ppl who are fans of oblivion which is the elder scrawls 4, it's my favrit one actelly.<p> 


	5. Dark brotherhood part 2

Oh no I exchanged a worry look with jet, and then Astrid totally shout!

"yes I know ur secret! I know about YOU ARE STEELIN MY BF ARNBJORN!'

Omg that was totes not true!111! I wudent do that I wudent steel a prsn bf! That wud b bad mannars!

"Ogm totes am not!"

"its ok I already KILLT HIM and murder like evry1 elsa I told the imperials (thye like hate the dark brohood btw) about where our sactery was muhahahahahaa."

OMG THAT BFTJH!

"How dar u, that is rly bad manors," I sed. I totally panicked, I hat to rush to the sanctery to see if anyone had survived! Me and Jet who is an argonian wented the shrine as fast as we could, we rode our horses. My horse was a designer horse. We arrived at the sanktory, but it was in flams! We saw Arnbjorn, corpse, and Nazir cryin. Nazir is a totes redguard.

"Noooo my secrat lovar is ded," weeped Nazir.

"Oh no nazi that is so sad, im so sry," I started to say, then wait a minut…. 'hey you were the wun cheetin on Astrid!?"

"omg don't tell her,"

"naxir she maked the sanctery burnt down becos of u! This is reely bad do yuo reelise what youv dun?!"

"im so sorry," said Nazir, but it was 2 late, the dameg had been done.

'come on we have to see who is alive still, Jet cast a resist fiar spell and run into the fire and when he come out he find Babette, the vmapir, still alive."

"Hi babette," omg I was kind of annoyed becos I didn't like her, she was weird. She was vampire but not the totes sparkly kind like twilite (me and my best fredn Rikke always argue, #teamedward or #teamjaceb lol) no she was the totally weird kind like cownt Dracula, or the count of skingrad who was a vamper, no one even notice that he the count for like 1000 yhears! Seems totes sus if you arks me. Oh no I got off track, where was I oh yeah wehad to run away from the sancteyr before we all got totally burnt! But when we got outside, it was ASTERID!

"Astrid go away I can't belive you kill your bf, and it was totes nazir cheetin not me :( " I said, adding an anger face so she would no that I was REELLY anger at her.

"Im really sprry," she looked apollojetik. "I feel really bad and I miss Armborn :("

"well that's your fault isn't it you killed him!" exclamation marked Jet.

"Im so sry, you can have this gourmet car for compensate," she pointed at a car sittin in the snow, it was shiny black with red headlights and customized seats! Wow it looked kewl, all the people at school would be totes jelly of me. Lol I codent wate to see their expressions! Oh my gosh, there was a dragen in the sky!

It was an eval dragen that Asturd had set on us. It was flyin around and breethin fiar everyehwre.

"it's ok I am an experience dragon fighter!" exclamation marked Jet, and shot the dragon with arrows. They were super strong daydric arrows.

Suddenly we saw a lasso of flowers bring down the dragon! Omg it was Vicktorriya, the half khajet halve sow elf! She was also a professional dragon slayer, and left flowar trales when she wanked places. The dragon fell on the ground, and squashed Asteroid the really mean leader of the dark brohud. Lol she was squashed. Vicktorriya had safed me again! Omg

To return the faver the next day I went to the shop and bought her sum choclats to show I appreciate. She said thx. As I was warkin alog wif my new fredns whoo were maykin their own dark brotherhood, and planning, except I dident want to be in it becos I didn't want to kill ppl, killin ppl is illegel for some reason. Ok as we were walkin along the stret I heard a showt comin fromm the mountens.

DUVET KING

"Who is the duvet king I wondered out loud."

"Umm totes you obviously," said Nazir.

"But im a girl how can I be a king?"

"I think Duvet kin like the dragonborn," said Vicktorryai.

"ohhhh lol" lol I was so blodn sometimes even tho I haf red hare!"

"Lol there must be something wrong," you better go and see the greyberds," said she.

Uh totes oh

Omg I totes ran to the gym at school, which we call High Hrothgar, and saw the greybareds there. Except the graybards weren't there, it was just Ulfric.

"Ulfric what is goin on!?"

I looked in the corner and saw Rikke cryin. "He totes dumped me!" omg her makeup was ruined.

"im leevin the basketball teem and makingmy own!

* * *

><p>Oh wow this adventure was so dramatic! Thx very much for your characters contribution HugsForPenguin and maximsk. :)<p> 


	6. Hildreannaleena and the Stromclocks

omg so Ulferic made the totes Stormcloak basketball teem. He so totally recruited all the best nords, he wudent let anyone else in. Im a nord, but he wudent let me jone becos im frends wif Rikke and I don't like basketball anyway lol. He wudent let the supar hot high elf on the team which made me sad : ( . I went to watch the totes Storemclokas practicing at lunch instead of gone to my training with the grayberds becos the greybeards were busy. Omg oh totes no, their team was so good it was even bettar at basketball than the totes imperials, which is our totally normal team. Uh totes oh. I wented to warn Tullius, but when I got to tulliuses locker I saw him and Rikke TOTES MAKINF OUT! Ewwwwwwww I carnt beliv it, tullius is totes ugly!11  
>"Oh hi Hildreannaleena," said Rikke, she looked totes embarrass.<br>"OH EM GEE, I CARNT BELIV U MAKIN OUT WIF THAT UGELY GUY!"  
>"Me?" arksed Tullius, He must be pritty dum since I cudent exactelly see anywun else amking out wif my totes bestie.<br>"Oh I comed to totes warn you, bytw" I said, tottally rememebrin why I wos here, "The stromclocks r REaLLY good, be careful."  
>"Excuse me I'm pretty shore I can beat a dumb team of nords, Nords are prity dumm and im bettar at baskertball than any1 elsa!" said totes Tullius very angerly, he was even moar anger now I had offended him xtra, but I was pritty offended that he sed nords were dum (hes an imperial btw) "I wud NEVAR date a nord," sed Totallyius.<br>"LOL I actually laughed" No one wud want to date you anyway!"  
>Rikke looked offend. "sry," I apoliziged. "<br>"Hildreannaleena I dident know that u wer such a BFITHCH.!" She away.  
>"wate no im tryin 2 help! " I totes yelled aftar her<br>"Well ur not doin a vrey gud job, are yuo?!" she anger stomed away.  
>"Oh totes no, that went rly badly. That was ur fawlt!" I accusinglied Tullius.<br>"Mien?" he looked surprise.  
>"Yeh cos if u totes hadent bin makin owlt whiff her then there wud be no argumint!"<br>"how dare u accuse me shes rite ur a BITH."!

Omg I wented to the match between the strongcloaks and the imperials the next day. Uh oh it was goin rly badly. I looked at the cheer leedin teems. The sormcloak one was made only of nords so it was rly borin. I looked at the othar one, it was manely imperials but there was an argonian and sum elves. Rikke said there was a khajiit on it but she sold too much skooma and got expelled. Skooma is this totally illegal drug that all khajiit are addicted to and sell. My friend M'aiq is a khajiit, he wented to my old skewl and was now goin to this skewl, but he hadent turned up at the match yet. I cuahgt rikke's eye, but she looked away she looked upset still and I felt rly bad, I hoped her teem one so she felt bettar.

But I was dissaponied, becos the imperial team were losin rly baddy. 5 minutes in they were score 4-0 with stormcocks in the lead. Oh no this was really not guud. I saw my friend M'aiq totes walkin through the stands, tryin to sell bottles of 'refreshments' but thye were actually skooma. He saw me and came to sit.  
>"Who's winnin?"<br>"Omg I pointed at the scoreboard and M'aiq said oh no"  
>'M'aiq saw you arguing with Rikke," sed M'aiq. he speeks in third person cos he is totes dumb.<br>"Yeah she was makin out wif Tullius who is totes ugly and I sed why r you makin out with that ugly dude lol."  
>M'aiq totally laughed.<br>"hey where is odahviig have you seen him?"  
>"lol odahviig wudent fit in the stands, hes a dragon."<br>"Oh of course!" I totallied.

SPEAK OF THE DEVILLE odahbiig just came through the doors into the totally gym and was skiddin across the floor.  
>"DOUBLLE-U TEE EFF!" went a teechar, "WUT R U DOIN!"<br>"Im rly sorry," sed Odourveg, "But Alduin is chasin me!"

Sure enuff aldawin came runnin thru the doors too, and crashed into odahviig who fell and landed on the stands. Alduin totes rored and fire everywhere, and set half the stands on fire and burnt lots of ppl! They died inclyuding Kyler who had been burnt alive be4 but only had a broken leg, I hope he was as lucky this time.

"ALDUOIN THAT WAS REELY BAD!1" odahvegegrtable shouted, I had bever seen him get \angry buyt right now he was totes MAD. He took a deep breath and shouted DAY UM GURL a dragonshout and alduin was transformed into a gurl wif a reely big butt, so big that he totally kept knockin ppl out wif it by accident when he warked past. LOL it was so embarrsing for him even tho it wore off after a few minets.

Omg focsugn on the game agin, the imperials ended up loosin score 2-11, how embarrassing.

It totally meant that the stormclokes wud be playin against the other skewls too, and made tullus rly sad that he cudent play against the other schools, he cried. I feeled so bad for him that I totally sent him an apologise letter, but rikke had totally dumoped him for suckin at basketball lol. She was still a cheerleader though becos the stromclokes wudent let her on because she was an imperius instead of a nord, idk why ulfric totally dated her if she wasent a nerd then. Oh me and rikke totes made up btw we are besties again :D


	7. Hildreannaleena and the Daedra Lord

Omg it was school holidays finally. I was totally havin the time of my life, I was so totes excited, we were havin a totes party that night. All the totally poplar kids were invited. Hereza a list of totes poplar kids:  
>Me (of corse)<br>Rikke  
>Hildreannaleena<br>Kyler except he had a broken leg again from bein burnt by a dragen so he cudent cum,.  
>Elitstith and her bf Torygg<br>Ulfric omg id avoid him  
>Tullius eww hope he totes dident hit on me<br>Jet Black the argonien hes my totes frend.  
>Vicktorriya becos shes my fredn she safed my life<br>Odavhiing  
>Not alduon becos he was meen<br>M'aiq he was gonna sell Skooma  
>Me<br>Some other ppl who were totes hot

Omg I had to go shoppin to buy a totes new designer outfit. I knew which outfit I totally wanted: an elven dress. The only place to totes buy one was at the shop raident rainment, but the elves there totally hated me.  
>"Hildreannaleena they hate me too even though its my favrit shop and I always shop there. I fink its time for our revenge," said Odahvegetable. Omg I totes never knew odahvegetable to be the kind of prsn wait totes dragen not prsn to reveng. Then I saw totally tears in him eyes and I knew he must be really sad.<br>"Odahvig whats wrong?" I questioned me  
>"I'm peelin onions."<br>"Oh lol."

We flew to solitude, which was the capitql of skyrim despit bein right in the north and beinf called Solitude. We landed in a shop and died.  
>"Omg get out!" sed the elf, but we weren't goin to put up with this.<br>"Fus ro dah!" I shouted and the elf went flyin. Odahfing also took a deep breathe and burninate the elf, but elves are power magic and the elf put up a shield.  
>"U a stupit dumb crossdresser!" shouted one elf, her name was Endarie.<br>"EXCUSE ME!?" Odahvegan was so rage. Him eyes wented red and I cud feel angar.  
>I was anger too, no1 insulted my best friend and be'd racist to corrsdresers and got away with it! "STUP-IT-BITH!" I dragon shputed. Endarie died.<br>The other elf, Taarie, cummed up to us. "U KILLED MY SITSER!" SHE BELOWED.  
>"Sorry," sed odaviig, he was apologize, but I was not.<br>"UR THE DUMMEST CROSSDRESSER!" shouted Taarie.  
>"Ok ive had enough." Odahviig angried. "STOP-BEAN-MEAN!" suddenly taarie turned nice.<br>"Hi you can have all the stuff free," she gave us the whole shop free cos she was nice.

I thank youd her and turned to leave the sop, but then sudden a ghost appear! It was wearin a black designer dark brohood hoodie. Omg was it the ghost of asteroid? She was the leader of the dark brotherhood but she be'd mean. But no it was a guy, omg a totes cute guy  
>"you sleep rather soundly for a murderer,"<br>"OMG GTFO LUCIEN LACHANCE UR FROM OBLIVIViON."  
>"Oh lol"<p>

We were about to leave then another interrupt! This time qas a guard, werein red soltide gard clothes.  
>"excuse me u murdered."<br>"Sry bby,"I apologise, but the guard not care. He look anger and get sowrd. I dident have the money to pay the fine becos I spent it all on clothes, and the guards didn't accept credit cards.  
>"wate its ok, theyre allowed," said Taarie cos she was nice all of a suddenly.<br>"Why?"  
>'Because I gave them.'<br>"Ohhhhhhhhhh lol sed the guard, understanding even though it made no sense. He put the sword away but accidental stab himself and die. Ow

Omg it wos totally time for the party, it was totes at the Bannered Mare in Whiterun. It had a totes picture of a totally mayor (which am a gurl flavoured horse) with a banner stickin out of its back like a carasel horse except alive but a picter so not alive lol. We used the ded guard from solitude as a totally disco ball becos we totally lost ours. M'aiq was totes sellin Skooma, and every1 was buyin it and also getting drunk off Nord mead, it was the best. We all danced but I spotted some1 totes lookin weird in the corner. They had a totally mismatched outfit and were eatin totally cheese.

"Hi wanna have some skooma," said M'aiq tp the odd.  
>"You know, I was there for that whole sordid affair. Marvelous time! Butterflies, blood, a Fox, a severed head... Oh, and the cheese! To die for."<br>"What?" M'aiq looked totes confused. "maybe u already had too much skoooma lol" he sed.  
>The strange prsn was too busy totally eatin cheese to reply.<br>"Excuse me I have something important."  
>"Well? Spit it out, mortal. I haven't got an eternity! Actually... I do. Little joke. But seriously. What's the message?"<br>"No its not a message, its skooma."  
>"omg" whipsered totally Elisith, "its sheogorath."<br>"WHO LOL?"  
>"Shhhhhhh it's the daedric princess of chaotic."<br>"Hi sheogorath' I hied.  
>"hi lol."<br>"why are you at our party? You weren't invited."  
>"Im gatecrashing"<br>"that's bad manors im callin the police."  
>"but im a daedra lord."<br>"so its still totes bad manners to gatecrash, go away."  
>"wow ur reely r00d," sed sheogorath, he was totes upset so he turned me into a sheep and ran into the bathroom to cry.<p>

"LOL bein a sheep is so totally out of fashion Hilterannaleenaa.' Laughed at me everyone. I was totally emborrassed. I ran into the toilets and found Sheogorath. He wasent cryin, he was textin Molag Bal and Mehrunes Dagon on his phone.  
>"this is a gurls toilet," I informed totally sheogorath. "and can u make me a human bein a sheep is totes ruining my hair."<br>'ok but first you have to do a missen, you have to escape the mind of M'aiq the liar."  
>Uh totes oh I found myself in a room full of skooma, I knew this must be the mind of m'aiq.<p> 


	8. Hildreannaleena and the Skooma

Oh my totally Shor this was totally the worst mind to be stuck in, there wos skooma everywear! I cud see lots of khajiits drinkinn the skooma, they were rly just all M'aiqs. All M'aiq thort abowt was skooma becos all khajiit are totes addicted to it. Oh my totally god, how would I get out!? The room had no doors, just skoomas.

"Ok Sheogormap this isent funny," I angried.

Sudden Sheogorath appeared!

"eXCUSse me how am I supppost to escape=!?" I angried.

"u haf to use the wabbajack."

"wtf is the wabba totes jack."

He pulled a staff with funny faces on it out of his eyes. "This am the wabbajack."

"thx," I said, becos I am grapeful. Sheogoreath despaeprted. I wondered what the wabbajock did. I pointed it at one of the M'aiqs and it turned into Odahviing!

"oh em gee Odah totes Viing! Im so happy to see you, can you burn down the walls so we can escape?"

But it wosent rly Odahviing, it was totally skoomaodahviing. "Muahhahahahahahahahahaha" he laughed evilly, reveeling his totes big dragon teeth. Then he totally started breathing fiar!1 omg I had to use dragonrend. "excuse me that's bad manners.:"

"you aren't rly odahvegetation, so it's ok to be meen to you! Anyway pls burn down the woles.

the odahvig ignered me but he turned into totally paarthurnax then totes burnt down the wall.

OH NO THE BUILDING WOS ON FIRE I WOS TOTES GONNA DIE.

"HALP!" I extremelied. Then I realised I cudent tork becos I was a sheep, I could only go baaa. I was scariness.

"PLS HALP!" I extremelied again, but only baa came out. Then I totes reelised what I must do, I must be brave! Omg was I totally the dragonborn or not!? I totes shouted WULD to go fastly, even with a sheeps throwt I could still dragonshowt, I went through the fire. Omg there was another wall of flame, but I FUS RO DAHed it out of the way like Lydia. Suddenly I saw… Igmund the jarl of markarth! He had a totally permanent marker, he loved markers so much that he named him city after them.

"omg it's the dragenburn! Can u help me, I'm trapped in a skooma land!"

"yes I will help u becos I am nice,"

"thanks dragonborn, ur so nice. Will you marry me?"

"what!? Ive known you for like 2 seconds omnd (oh my nein divins, the imperals sau there are 8 but Im a nord so I fink there area 9, they are: Akaposh, Zenifart, Stendar, mara, dibella (not like bella from twilight), juilains, kynaref, arcade and Talos. Talos wos a nerd, but he becaym a totally divine because he was a dragonborn like me, and dragonborns are unique and special and deserve to be wershipped, mabye I would become a divine. Hildreannaleena, the Goddess of Hairstyles. I totes liked the sound of that!)"

"oh ya ok lol" he sed. "ok how do we escape the skooma mind?"

Suddenly I saw a strange fing. It wos like a clear wole. I totally wanked over to it and looked through! Omg I was totes seeing the world from the pony of view of M'aiq!

M'aiq was totally still at the party, selling skooma and was high like a high elf from the skooma. Thru his eyes everyone had a box of brekfest cereal instead of a head, and their boides were actually hula hoops. The walls were all groovy and were dabcing too. Shoegorath was still there, he was on the phone to Hircine, they were arguing becos hircine's werewolves kept pooping on sheogortaths lawn. M'aiq looked arownd, he saw Rikke and totally Elsif, my 2 besties. They were rocking out to the new Katty Purry song, Katty Purry is a khajiit, she is a totes fames singer. M'aiq sold some skooma to a dancing worm then totally wented outside. I reelised I cud totes reed M'aiq's thoughts!

_Skooma. Omg if I go outside then I can sell skooma to dragons imagine a dragon on skooma_

OH TOTES NO THIS COULD NOT END WELL

"Hi are u a dragon?" arksed M'aiq, he cudent tell becos too much skooma.

"yeah lol." Sed the dragon, it was Mirmulnir, one of Alduin's gang members.

"Wanna buy skooma?" arksed M'aiq

"I don't have any moiney. Wait I can bash up odahviing to get sum!"

I saw odahviing standing somewhere nearby. He wos wearing elven armour but that wos probally just a trick of the skooma cos elven armour is unfashionable and odahviing is not unfashionable.

"excus me!" odahviing wos totes drunk, he cudent fly in a strate lion. He fus ro dahed Murmilnir and murmilnr fell into a barrel full of skooma, oh no it totes spilled everywhere and went into his scales, uh oh he had skooma scales.

_Oh no skooma scales is an ancient khajiit legend. Dragens with skooma scales wud tayk over the world, they smellt like skooma but they cud more powerful than other drgan.s_

Uh oh a totally skooma enhanced FUS RO DAH! Odahviing DED. But he was ok, he got up and FUS RO DAH murmilnir back. Omg they had a dual, but the skooma enhancement scales Murmilnir wos totally winnin. I knew if I dident totes do anyfing he wud die. Omg I had the totally wabbajack. I aimed it thru M'aiq's eye and totes shot at Murmilnir. But it hit M'aiq and turned him into a cabbage! Omg but I totes wosent in M'aiq's mind anymore, becos caggabe totally dusent have a mind becos it is a vegetable. I pointed it at Murmilnir again, and he turned into a sheep and I turned back into a humen, I wos buutiful once more! Omg totes Odahviing came up to me.

"wow thank hildreannaleena, u are very nice."

"that's ok." I totes

Oh no I turned around and ALDUIN HAD THE SKOOMA HE STOLE IT ALL AND FLEW AWAY

"oh no I exclamation marked!"

"lol" laffed odahviing becos he was drink "hey who's that?"

Omg the jarl of markarth wos still there. "I am jsrl igmund. Omg u safed me, sheogorath put me in the skooma mind becos I sed his outfit wos ugelly. I make u thane of marker, and have this housecarl."

OH EM TOTES GEE it wos totally the cutest guy evar. His name was totally argis the bulwark, and he wos blonde hair and cute strong lookin.

"oh em gee," I totally thanks

A totally courier came up to me, he had a note. "pls meet me, I am gonna halp u be a dragonburn."

"it cud be a murderer," warninged me odahviing. "I will tayk u and be ur bodygourd"

"thanks totally odahviing, but tomorrow cos its irresposiable to drink and fly," I mite bea poplar kid, but I wos repsobile.

"k im going home to watch Skyrim's Next Top Model," annownced odahviing.

Omg I wented back to the party to show that I wos totes not a sheep anymore. I looked so good omg. Sheogorath wos totally gone, thank talos he cudent turn me intoa sheep no more. Oh totes no, there wos another totally gatecrasher!


	9. Hildreannaleena and the Blades

Oh em gee, it was ferangar the cowrt wizard. He wos totes dabcing and he totally danced over to me. "Fank u for getting the stones. Will u be my bf?"

"W-U-T-F NO GO AWAY!" I totally danced away.

"I wos tarkin to him," oh it turned out he wos askin ufleric.

"omg no ur a hi elf."

"umm no im a nurd."

"oh well no becos ur a magic and I hate magic."

"wow racist." Suddenly ferangar turned to me.

"omg hildre totes annaleena, the dragonburn. Omg you shud be an exchange studant at the collage of winperhold."

"hildreannaleena if you do that I will never speak to you again."

"LOL I don't caer if u stop talking to me, you broken my bets friends heart." He had breaked Rikke's heart.

Suddenly Elisif was doin the waltz with her totes bf, Torugg. He wos our star foorballer and the most poplar boy in school. His nickname was the 'high king' because he bought a lot of skooma off M'aiq, he wos his best customer. Suddenly ulfric turned around. He saw toryg and I saw him get an idea, uh totes no, a totally terrible idea.

FUS RO DAH he suddenlied, and Elisif and Torygg totally went flying. Elsith hit her totally head on the wall and was totes knocked out.

"ow said torygg, he wos rubbin his hed becos it hurt."

"oh em totes gee are you ok?" I arksed.

But be4 he cud reply Ulferic wos attackin him wif his fists. He bashed up torygg and he had a balck eye, it was a black eye. It looked totally painful. FUS RO DAH sed ulferic again. Torygg like, totally fell over and wos totes unconkes. Sudden Elsith woke up.

"wots goin on- OMG TORYGG: she totally birst into teers. Noooo she sed, all the healers. We ran to the totally chapel and found heelers. There were 2: one to mend Kyler's leg he broke it agen, and another to heelin totally Toryg.

"is he gonna be ok?" arksed Elsith?

"yes," sed the preepstess, but kyler wos not ok he had to get his leg amputationed off becos he broke it too many times. It wos ok, it grew back thank totally talos.

Wow that party wos too stressful, I wos leevin. As I wos totally leevin I saw white totally run guard. He wos come to arrest Ulferic for bash ppl up. Omg I wos warkin along the street totally fashionably when I saw Nazeem. Nazeem is the most arrogent kid at shool becos he is the most richest. He think he is my frends balgrufs frend but he rly totally hates him shhh don't tell n azeem. Nazeem sed "do u get to the clowd district very often?"

"yes actelly, I live there," I sed, my hows wos next to balfrugs."

Nazeem looked anger then warked off angerly becos I had totes won this argue. I totes wented home and totally went to bed, when I woke up I totally had lots of messages on my fon.

_Omg hildreannaleena I hop toyrg is ok im so worried abowt him_

_Omg I totes hop hes ok_

_Omg im so worry_

_Oh wate hes ok lol_

All from totally elsif

_Hi hildre totes annaleena im ok_

From toruf

_Omg im in jale becos of u_

Rom Ulferic

Wtf why was he in jail becos of me? He wos in jail becos he bash up torygg, bash up ppl is totally illegal!

Well fine, I wos goin to Odahviings haus. I hat to meet the prsn and I neded to do it today becos it wos totally the last day of the holidays, term started tomorroe. I totally walked over to his house, it wos neer mien so it wosent very far. I knocked on totally door and Odahviing sed come in. I totally loved his house, it wos big to fit a dragen and wos pink. It had the Skyrim's Next Top Model semi-finale replay from last nite playin on the tv

"dident u wotch that last totally night?" I totally arked?

"yeh but I luv it so much im watchin it agen." Odahviing luved totes fashen outfits. OMG I SAW THE PRSN WHO GOT INTO THE FINAL, IT WOSENT A PRSN, IT WOS A DRAGEN!

"that's where u rly went last nite! Ur secretly a model!"

"yeh the final is next week, talons crossed that I totally win!" Odahviing wos beamin wif excitement and happily.

"oh em totes gee Odahviing, im sooooo happey for u." I wos totes happy. I cudent beliv my frend wos gonna becom the next totally top model of skyrim! Wow he wud be the first draggen model totally evar!

"will u take me to the delphines house?"

We had to go there becos the map marker totally sed so.

We totally arrived at Delphines. A blodne hair gurl came out of the hous. She wos wearin armer and had a katana sord.

"are you the dovahkein?" she arksed.

"obivousyly, im on tv a lot so is my frend odahviing hes a model."

"BI TALOS IT'S A DRAGEN KILL IT AND ABSOROP ITS SOWL!"

"this is my totes bestie, odahviing!" I exclamation marked.

"ok. Well come in I fownd out something."

I went inside, the house was totlly sparse and ugely, but I dident tell her that becos I dident wont to offence her or anything. There were lots of katanas on the woles which wos cool but dident wont

"I am a member of the blades by the way. We protetct the dragenbron, there hasent bin a dragonborn in like 200 years tho. But we wont to help you. Anyway I fink I fownd a place with an eval dragon to slay, I stalked him to his house."

"wow that's a bit creepy," I sed.

"hes in Aldawins gang."

"omg killin ppl is agaysnt my morrels."

"but hes a dragon not a prsn."

"yeah I don't care killing dragons is rood isent it odahviing?" I arksed odahviing out of the totally window. He nodded in agree.

"well will you at leest meet me at the bus sotp after skewl?"

"omg I don't catch pubic transport, I haf a car it's a porch called Shadowmere."

"well just drive ther then omg."

"fine ok."

I dident rly like delphine, but aldins gang wos pritty meen so I totally dident know what to do. I wos totally gonna ask odahviing but he had alreddy flown tto solitude for the final of Skyrims next top model. Omg I hoped he won, it wud be totes kool if my beste wos totally Skyrim's top model. Omg I should go and watch! I fast travelled to Solitude and saw my frend Rikke walkin down the street, she totally lives in solutide. She was walkin fashionally down the street with our other totally bestie, Elisif. Elisif wos wearing a totally designer green 'Fine Clothes' and Rikke wos totally wearin red. They luked like Christmas. They saw me and totally waved. Omg my besties, I totally filled them in with the goss abowt how Odahviing wos a totes model, and I wos gonna snek onto the set to see Odahviing. Omg we totally snuck round the back and wented into the big fashion place. I have 100 lockpick skill becos I am totally a natural at it so I picked the lock and we got in. Omg I cud see odah totes viing. He wos walking fashionly down the totes aisle thin g. He swayed his hips fashionably. I wos totally proud of him, a tear fell from my totes eye.

"sorry odahviing I just don't know what skyim would fink of having a dragen as the top model. I know that yur totally talented but im sry u carnt stay."

Odahviing looked heartbroken, I cud totally tell. I felt so sorry for him, his drems had bin destroyed. But he dident cry or anyfin becos he is srong, he has to go thru a lot of bullin becos he is a drgon and a crossdresser. He jusrt noddd and 'said ok'

Sudden Rikke knock over something! There a was totally loud CRAS!HJ! oh totes no!

Well I took my oppotunry now that we'd been totally founded out. I went up to the meen fashion guy and totally dragonshowted "STOP BEING MEAN!' All of a suddenly he turned arownd and told odahviing that he changed his mind and that odahiing deserved to totally be the top model becos nhe wos the best, omg I wos so prowd.

The next totally day wos school. I was in totally history class, our teacher Paarthurnax also teeches dragonshowts becos he is a dragon. Unfortunately he is rly boring and we were lernin abowt the Nerevarine, which is boring. The neveraverine is from morrowind which has totally bad graphics. I totes fell asleep. Next was religens class which is tort by this totally annoying nord, his nam wos heimskr. Heimskiier never shut up abwot Talos, it wos so annoyin. He also had a lowd vvoice so by the end of class I had totally the worst headache evear. Fourtunately it wos totally recess and I cud relax. Oh totes no I saw Delphone so I totally hid in a locker until she went away.

After school I totally drove my Porsche mazarrati Shadowmere to the bus stop. I saw dolphin there. She totally walked up to me and sed 'follow me." She walked rly slowly and it wos so borin and took for totes ever to get to the place. OH EM GEE IT WOS TOTALLY ONE OF ALDUINS GANG, I CUD HEAR WHAT THEY WERE TOTALLY SAYING, THEY WERE GONNA TAKE OVER THE WURLD!


	10. Hildreannaleena and the Thalmor

We hat to slay the totes eval dregan! I pulled out my totally wepon… wate I totally cudent decide which weapen… my pink designer sword or my fashionable dagger? The sword, Dawnbreaker, I got it for helping a daedra lawd called Meiridia, had more dameg so I used it. I hit the dragon and went rawr. I was losin the fight, I totes needed some music. I oulled out my ipod and started playin some songs by Beyonce. I totally danced to the beat, when I did my special dance moves the dragon died from fabulous. It was dead. It started to burn. I saw Kyler run into it and catch on fire, he got burnt to ash.  
>'help me hildreannaleena I broke my leg!' he sed.<br>I looted the dragon bones which were really heavy, I was nearly overinencucumber, so I went to the town to sell it, I sold it to a person. Then I ran to Delphines house and asked her wut  
>'you have to crash a thalmor party' she sed<br>Omg! 'I totally luv parties!' I sed.  
>'ok well you have crash one, heres a fake invite.<p>

Deer Hildreannaleena  
>Ur invited to the thalmor party. There is free skooma and alcool and sweetrolls,<br>From stupit bith

'oh my totally talos, you carnt say 'from stupid btich' Elenwen dusent call herself that'  
>Oh oops 'sed totally Delphine'<p>

Wuns she had totally fixed the letter, I put on my fashionablest clothes which was hard to choose becus all my clothes are totes fashionable, I like to go to the totally prettiest clothes totally shops. I chose a wite dress, it totally had a pritty bow. I found some gold shoes which toatllu looked totally nice with it, and some totes bracelets. I neded a totes necklace so I wore an amulet of akatish, I dident wear my hamlet of talos becos that might totally offend the elves and totally reveal my totes disguise thing.  
>I hopped in my totally designer car, Odahviing, and we flew to the thalmor embassy. When I got there a guard<br>'weres ur invite  
>I totally showd him the letter. He belived it wos by elenewen<p>

I warked off and torked to the guests. There were all extoci ppl. Omg I totally had to create a diversion. I walked up to a poplar gurl, Valkyrie Andalicandisara, and told her that her totes bf was cheetos on her.  
>'OH EM TOTALLY NEIN DEVEINS! ILL KILL THAT STUPIT IDYAT!'<br>'NEIN devines? Arksed elenwen'  
>'oops I ment 8,' Valkyrie totally saw the expreshun on Elenwen's totally face. 'Well theres 9 if u count Julianos as 2 ppl becos hes pregnerant….'<br>'U WERSHIP TALOS DON'T U?/ U STUPIT NORD!'  
>'no rly calm down Elenwen!'<br>Uh totally oh! Elenwen totally pulled out a glass eleven sword and KILLT VALKRUE!  
>Valkyrie was totes angery<br>'HOW DAR U ATTECK ME U STUPIT ELF?'  
>Uh oh a huge totally bar brawl. I wonted to help except Elennwen wud know I wos a talos warshipper, I wos prowd to be a talons worhsepr, but I dident want to get involfed with the fite when I hat a totally task to totes do!<br>I snuck into the kitchen  
>Omg I totally found what I was totally loking for! Elenwens secret dairy!<p>

Dir diery  
>Today I went to the fashen shop and met my secret bf. Bhis name is Syllabunasilarylykkiamisava and he is the hottest bf around. Except my parents wont let me dayt any1 so it has to besecret. We kissed pasisonfully thrn we got married, except secret like in the poem by shakesper, Romeo and Julius Caeser.<p>

Deer Diray  
>Today I wented to skewl and wagged classestto be with my totally bf. Then he went<br>'im totally breaking up wif u!'  
>'wtf is ed'<br>'I want a bf whho I can change my relaturnship satatus on facevook with, not u.'  
>I cred. MY PARENTS RUIN EVERYTHIN OMG I HAT THEM<p>

Dear dairy,  
>Omg I hate talos<p>

Dear diary  
>Wtf today a totally draaogn was bashin up Syllabunasilarylykkiamisava, serves him rfight but who let dragons into our skewl? Its rly dum . ! So stupit. I h8 nords but DRAGONS ARE EVEN WURS. I bet it's the nerds fawlt that the drgons are in the skewl basji8n ppl up . dum nruds. Wtf elves are so much better, we ave the most fashen clothes, at radian rainmen t thy are nice to me becos I am doog fashen and an elf<p>

Wow Elenwen was so rude. I closed the chets and put the tottlly diary in my totes hambag. Sudennly I turned arownd and I sow a popular elf, Mynivaliväryssilukkarvä.  
>'hildreannaleena ur breakin in, I know it! Give back what u stle!<br>'nope.'  
>'I baash u up!' he totally tjreatened.<br>I totes laffed. FUS RO DAH I totally shouted, and he went flyin. Oh no all the totes thalmor guards came, they were comin to bash me up with totally swords!  
>I wated for my fus rod ah to rechange and I shouted 'FUS RO DAH again then they all totally went flyin'<br>I hat to escape! I ran aaway, I ran owtside into the snow, it wos cold but I totally had %50 frost iMmune, which is lkike an iPhone except not.  
>I hopped in my porche, its called shdown,rere. I got it fom the dark bruthergood. I drove back to delphins.<br>'omg the thalmor are blaim us? But it wos them! Hmm strange, well we haf to invstiagte.'  
>'ok lol, im going shoppin bye.<br>'bye.

I went shoppin in the city Markarth. Permanent Marker was a pritty strange lookin city but it totally had the coolest sops. Omg wen I went in I saw a totllay woman getting stabed!

* * *

><p>hi evry1, sorry for not uplowed in ages. I was having a probellama with internet<p> 


	11. Hildreannaleena and another Daedra Lord

Oh my totally talos I had to save the womna getting stabbed! I was totally russian forwards with my totally fast dragonbrn legs and I grabed the sowrd off the stab guy. Thank talos he totally dident stab her. Oh my totally nein deveins, he wos totally gonna stab me. I pulled my totally designer sword, dawnbreaker, and waved it threatenly. I got dawnbreakfast the sword from helping totes meridia the daydream lord back when I wented to Helgen high, which totally got burped down by alduin. I blocked the stab attack profeshunly, then killt the guy. He totally died to deth.

'wow thanks, Hildreannaleena," came up to me a guard. "I know your name, I saw you on tv, youre the dragqueenborn, I love you! I'm your biggest fan."

"omg thanks," I felt so flattened by his complimant.

"can I have your autograph?"

OMND (oh my nine dewines) I cudent beliv someone totally wanted my telegraph! I felt so proud, my chest swelled with proud. I almost cudent contane the proudness.

'omg yes of horse!' I said and signed the photo of me that he totally had, which is totes kind of a bit creepy but oh well. A guy came up to me.

'wow, are you hildreannaleena? Im ur fan too!'

'not as big fan as me!" sed the guard.

'whatevs,' said th dude

'my name is Tyranus, im a vigilant of stendarr.'

'my name is Janessarmenhansarkrisevvem, a good nord name,' sed the guard.

His name was too long to remember, so I be'd friends with Tyrannasaurus instead.

'hey can you help me pls, theres this hosue I need to investigate.'

'sure, I sed becos I am nice.'

'ok lets go!' Tyrannosaurs Rex ran off towards a house.

'so what do the virgins of stendarr do?' I asked curiosity.  
>'we kill daydra and nighdra. He laffed at his totally hilarious pun"<br>'oh kool'  
>I totally followed him into the house.<p>

Suddenly totally firnutire started fluing everywhere! I dident no what was goin on. Sudden I heard a voice. I suddenlied. It was scary and I died. I totally ran towards the door and escaoed. Outside I saw rikke.

'hey totes bestie whats up?'

'lol I dare you to go back in there.'

'no totes way'

'lol I'll tell ur totes crush that ur a scaredy pants'

'wtf I do NOT have a crush'

'ill tell odahviing tat u have acrush on him!'

'Omg no his wife just died don't say that, besides hes a draegn that wud totes be weird, FINE ILL GO BACH IN only if u do a dare too.'

'what?'

'ill tell u l8r' I went back into the totally scary hows, I saw Tyranus there, he wos lookin scared

'U WILL KILL OR U WILL DIE' sed a lowd, deep voice. I felt rly bad but I killed Tyrant in the head.

'GOOD JOB MORTEL, COME DOWNSTARES TO COLLECT YOUR REWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORDDDDDD' saed the dsddra lawd dramticallt. Then he wented muahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahhhhhhhhahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaa as an evil laugh.

I wented into the totally basement and saw a pretty designer mace. I grabed it and suddenly spikes totally appeared around me!  
>'lol trikked u, april fools!' sed the voice. 'I am Molag Ball, the daedra lorpd of domination. anyway I trekked u and u need to do a quest for me oar I wont free you'<p>

'How can I do a quest if im trapped lol' I used my totally smart logic to defeat the powerful daedra lored.

'wow ur an idyat, anytwy go and CAPTURE LOGROLF THE EVIL PREEST OF BOETHIA, MY WORST ENEMY he started cryin.'

'whats wrong? I asked concerned'

'Boethia bullied me in elementary skewl, she mayde me cry and grown an emo fringe. Now we're worstest anemones.'  
>'thts very sad to hear, Mohawk Bal. I went to find the preest becos I felt totally sorry for him.<p>

I arrived at the place where my quest marker sed to totally go. I saw logrolf, he was dancing! I cudent beliv how sick his dnce moves totally were. Oh my totally nine devines, he was listebning to screamo by Boethiah. He wos totally headbanging to the screamo.  
>'um excuse me,' I sed, but he cudent hear me becos the ice creamo was too lowd.<br>I used my 'throw voice' totally dragon totes shout to get his attention. I threw my voice in front of hum and sed 'excuse mi'

'oh hi, sry.'

'can u flower me? I have a birthday present for u, Lowgrolf.'

'omg thanx so much, my birthday is yesterday!'  
>Wow what good timing<p>

We wented bac k to the howse, we wneted downstares, I made him close his eyes so he cudent see the present.  
>'is it a puppy?' he arksed, excited.<p>

'OHB MY GOD ITS MOLAG BOWL!' UR GONAN KILL ME!

Uh oh he was totally trapped in the cage.

'KILL HIM OR ELSA!' screamed mona lisa bal.

'umm sory,' I apoligsed then killed Logrolf to death.

He camed back to life!

'KILL HIM AGAUIN;

'extra sorry,' I seded  
>HE CAME BACK TO LIFE AGAIN<p>

I killed him again for good measure, then molag ball appeared in person! He was scales and green. He wore a totally fashionable designer leather jacket and some jeans.

'Thanks for killin him , I got totally revench on Bowethieah. Here's a fashionable designer mace for u, its 'the mace of molag bowel,' its named after me becos im cool.'  
>'no problem molag,' I totally sed.<p>

'I gtg to basketball, but u can have this house if u want. Then he went muahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha again becos hes a daedra lawd and totes eval'

Wow thank the totally divines that I gotted out of the house, that was weird. I hoped Tyranus and Logrolf were ok after I totally killed them.

When I got to school the next totally day I saw Rikke, my totes bffl. I had to do a dare. "Rikke, I dare you to steal total y Elenwen's hair!'  
>'how do u steal hair?'<p>

Ugh Rikke was so totally dumb sometimes, but don't tell her I sed that, she mite be offence.  
>'WITH SCISSORS'<p>

'ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' ok I totally will! She wented up to Elensewenf and snipped off all her hair. Rikke's sneak skill was really low so Elenwin saw. Uh oh, she was totally mad.

'OK HILDREANNAELEAN, YOU CRASH MY PARTY AND RUIN IT THEN YOU MAKE YOUR BEST FRIEND STEAL MY HAIR! I HATE U IM GONNA KIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU' uh oh she was coming for me with a totally elven dagger!


	12. Alduin Becomes a Dad

Elenwneneen was totally runnin at me wif a nife ! oh my totally gop, I was gonan die! Wait I am hidlreaanneleena, the dragonbern. I went FUS RO DAH and Elenwen went flyin back. When she got up she was even moar extreme angerly. Hur elven eyes gleamed with angry, and her blodn hare was also glowing super anger elf magic, evan tho it wasent on her head, my best totes friend rikke stole it and was holden it. She totally pulled out a magical staff called the Elfinator, and pointed it at me. Uh oh, it looked totally danger. I equipped daydric totes shield, the best kind of shield and totes got rdy for her attack. Oh no, her staff totally shooted out PUPPIES.

The puppies were extreme adorable. I totlly looked at them wif my blue eyes. They had funny ears – elf ears – they wrerent realy puppies they were secretary elves! I got my designer totes sword and was prepared to fite the elves, evan tho they luked lyk cute totally puppies. Sudden they turn into eval elves, I recognised an eval elf called Syllabueilyaksaryika and another super elf called Anabellaenyrienaksa. They looked at me evilly, they were the schol bullies. They totes were rdy to steal my lunch money!

I totes was rdy to kill my designer swrord, then I saw Rikke, she had bin kidnapped by the elves. Uh oh she was like princess peach I hat to totally rescue her. I put on a hat wif the letter M and wented to rescue her. Not rly I dident rly put on a totally hat I just totes pretened to.

I totally had to find owt where they were. I asked my fredns if they knew. "Elisif, u are smart, do you totes know where she is?"

"no sorry,"

"ok. Odahviing do you know where she is?"

"yeah she at the shooping mall."

I totally wented to the shopping mall to look for totes RIkke but I cudent see her!

"odahbiinvg you lied."

"oh sry I thort she wud b ther cos shes always there," explanationed he.

I was kinda annoyed but I pretended not to be.

Then I went to school and saw her in the toilet. She was putting on makeup with Syllabueilyaksaryika and Anabellaenyrienaksa. They were totally gossing cos they now besties! I was rly mad that she totes betrared me for elfs! I took off my Mario cap and threw it on the grownd angerly.

Rikke dident notis, she wos too busy sharing the latest goss. "omg how am I gonna tell him?" she asked agitarted.

"tell him wot?" I wondered out lowd.

"IM PREGENRNAT AND ITS ULFERICS!" she whaled.

Uh totes oh, a pregnerancy, this is the most dramatic thing evar.

"well why u betrat me 4 the elves?"

"they also preggers, with each other bbies."

"oh ' well I cud forgiv her for betray me for totally elves maybe.

"omg my water broke!" shouted rikke, she wos going into laber.! Uh oh I quickly put her in my Porsche jaguar, Shadowmere, and drove quickly to the totally hopital.

A bby came out! It was a cute bby, it looked like a rly mini rikke. Aww we even put a cute designer baby outfit on it. It was totes adorable like the eval puppies, except not eval.

We were thinking how cute was the bby wen the totally doors burst open and ulferic came in!

"I carnt beliv u dident tell me abowt ur bby, IM GONNA SELL IT ON EBAY!"

Rikke was morgafied! "you carnt sell it on ebay!"

"What are we gonna name the totes bby?" I wondered.

"Im gonna call it Ulfericleiermbina."\

"omg you totally will not, that's a dum name!" angried ulfric.

"Ok fine, you can be called Dinalimbreniaenilissa."

Dinalimbraniaenilissa liked her new name, she smiled and went eyyyrrrr cos that's the noise bbies totes make.

My phone rang with a totally designer tune. "Uh oh, I said, I have to go to my photoshoot (im a model cos beautiful) ill be back later!"

I totally wnet and did my photoshoot, I wore a totally designer red leater kacjet, it was pretty, with a pretty white and pale pink top with frills and some classy black skinny genes. I looked so good with my hairstyle the top wos pinned back and the side was flwoin beautifully. I made my fav photo my new faceook cover photo and got 400 likes in one totally second. Then I wentback to the hospital to find rikke, but she had already went home.

I totally drove to her house but she wosent there eyether. I asked her mum where. She said she dident know. I drove past the mall wonderin where she might be when I saw wif her shoppin bags full and no bby.

"wheres ur bby?" I arksed.

"I sold it on ebay so I cud afford moar outfits."

"OMG LEGATE RIKKE U R THE WORST PARENT EVER!"

Now I had to totally rescue the bby. I set 'bby rescue' as my active quest and the quest marker pointed to Alduin's house! Uh oh. I drove there through the totally portal to sovnguard, Alduin thinks hes so totally cool he dusent need to live on this world he shud liv in sovnguard.. Ok so I wented there and I saw totally Alduin, he was holdin the bby and giivin it a totally bottel of milk!

"alduin give back Dinalimbreniaenilissa!"

"But this is my new bby, it was my dream to be a parent but I carnt becos im a dude so I carnt get pregnernat."

"omg alduin u can still be a dude and a parent!"

"oh I dident know that."

But Dinalimbreniaenilissa was rly happy becos alduin wos a totally good parent, unlike rikke who sold her on ebay!

Alduin was singing rockaby bby on the tree top, whn the wind blows a dragon will drop.

Omg evan tho alduin is my worstest enmy ever I was so proud of him, he wos a good dad.


	13. Hildreannaleena's Old Friend

I, hildreanna leena, dragonbon, walked thru the totlly front doors of my high totes skewer, skyrim huigh. I nrly walked into a blodn gurl cos I was totally textin my bestie rikke abowt the new one direcshun album. I luked up so I cud apopigise when I totally recognised her! Omg she had caterpillars for eyebrows, and wore lots of makeup. Omg I remembered her, it was totally Forestalierembena. She was my best totes friend at my old school then she sopped talking to me it was totally like

'hi forestalierembena

'hi

'hi I said hi

'hi are you death?'

'ok fine.

So I wented 'WOW HI IT'S GUD TO SEE YOU.' As I expercted, she ignored me. It dident matter tho, my best totes friend Elisif came up to me.

'that is the new girl she wont torque to me tho I think she is mute'

'yeah she is mean, avoyde her!"

We wented to our next totes class, histery which wos bein tort by parhuunax the old dragon.

'Ok, everyone, time to learn about the hero of totally kvatch! Her name was megelieramberina, she was a hero! Here is a famous quote by her – "I am totes bettar than every1 else". Ok devide into groups of free to do an assignment on megelieramberina."

Elisif and me wotched as every1 in the calss chose a group of three, except Forestalierembena, she was the only one left. Our other totes bestie, Rikke, was off sick she had morning sickness, so we had to group with forestalierembena. "hi forestalierembena wanna grope with us?" asked elisife frienderly, she is very friendy. Forestalierembena luked at her but ignoted her.

The totally teecher paarthunax noticed. "Forestalierembena you are being very rude, stop ignoring them."

She ignored him .

Fien we werked by ourselves on the project about Megeliermabina. I met her once when I time travelled, so I was kinda like totally an expert.

_Megelieramberina is a bith. She has 8 boyfriends, and is very arrogent, not as arrogant as sum ppl I know though I wrote thinking of Forestalierembea. Suddenly Kyler came running in, screaming that he was on fire. He ran up to forestalierembena who was_ next to the fire estingwisher and sed help me but she ignored him so he broke his leg. Damn he had to be taken away on a totally stretcher, it was a vrey sirius injery, like sirius black from harry potter he turns into a dog it is cute and funny and sniffs.

Wow I got an A+ on my assinement, Forestelirmeab walked up to paarhtrunax

"WOW HOWCUM I GOT A 0?'

'cos u ignored them instead of helped.'

'BUT WTF IM MOAR IMPROTENT? I SHUD IGNORE PPL COS IM MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEM'

'firertsfr7ualenra, you are not more important than everyone else angried elisif.

'WTF YES I AM SHE WAS SO ANGERY SHE WASENT IGNORING ANY1 ANYMORE."

'IM LEEVIN THIS SKEWL!' she stomped to principle titus mede's office, and totally said she was leaving.. bye lol sed the printapel.

It was prom night, so I went to the prom. I wore a pritty dress it was blue, which I don't usually wear I like the colour red which goes wif my heer which is also red except more of orangey. I had on beautiful eyeliner and looked so totally cute with my prada hambag. I lookd into the mirror with rikke and elisif rikke was better cos it wasent morning any more. Rikke was wearin red it complemented her oliv skin and she hat eyelinar to bring out her drak eyes, and elsif was wearin wite which marched her blodn totally hare. Wow we were the cutest trio, all the bois wud go crazey lol. We took a selfie then hpooped in our limosine porsche ferrari and drove to the prom which was at the schol. We went into the room and there was lowd disco musik, we dabced. I was dabcing wehn I totally saw a totes cute guy! His name was Calder he was ulfrics friend. They were doing some dance moves on the other siyde of the disco room our skewl is so cool it has it's own disco room to do a disco. We danced twerkingly.

Suddenly we met eyes, he was the cutest totes guy ever omg! oh my nein devines I blushed lol. Sudden he broke eye contact and looked at… FORESTALEMBENA.

Ok I was actually so mad, I totally angried, I totes WHAT WOS SHE EVAN DOINF HHERE? I angried across the room, my totally hi heels clicked dangeresly. The whole skewl turned and luuked, the disco music stopped dramatically. 2 spoltlits appared one on me and one on forestaliermba. I looked anger and clutched my handbag dramaticl.y she did the same. I shouted at totally her with fus ro dah! She angried. She wented flyin into the wall and a fire lit draatically. Kyler got burnt to ashes again and broke his other leg. It wos very drama. Sudden I pull out a totally designer sword and totally stab FORESTMELAIMD. Ppl who don't go to skyrim high aren't cool enuff to be arownd me (except odahviing of course hes pritty cool he moved skewls). I ran up to Calder and kissed him romanticly becos I won the fite.

'WHO ARE YOU?' he arksed, confusion.

'ur new gf,' I flattened my eyelashes.

'wtf go away."

I am the dragonborn and I had bin RJECTED. I was so totally upset. I walked away sad, I wanked into delphine.

"hi hildreannaleenna wats wrong?'

"I got rejection,'

'oh I have some knews that will chear you up, I fownd out alduin was the one who is reserecting all the dragons!'

ALDUIN IS A NECROMANCER? OMG I RAN TO HIS HOUSE TO CONFRONT HIM

"ALDUIN UR A NECOMANCER'

'yeah lol did odahviing tell you he just came to my house to ask me to reserect his ded gf who I killed he laughed evilly like muahahahahahhahahahaa becos he is evil and killed Vensedren, who odahviing was totes in luv with and made fashenable.

"it's tiem to defeet you wuns and for all!" I challenginged. It was time for an epic showdown….. oh no he disappeared! Guess it wosent a showdown lol.

I told delphine the leder of the blades soccor teem I told her what had totally happened. She totally said we needed a totes elder scroll to look at so we could totes see how to deafeat him. I knew where to get an elder scroll! I fownd out titus mede the printapel was secretly a collector, he was a hoarder of totally elder totes scrolls.

I asked for one as a rewarfd for getting an A+, my mum bort one off him. I totally looked into the eldar scroll instead of ate it which brings you back in thyme. but sumthin was totes different this time!


	14. The Elder Scrolls have been hijacked!

When I looked at the scroll something was totally figgerent! Instead of showing a vision abowt defeetin totally alduin it was showin the latest totes episode of keeping up with the kardashians! I thinked hard, who did I know who liked keeping up the kardashians? I thinked, no not elisif she liked maths because she was totes the smartest prsn in skewel. Rikke! She totally liked kardashianing up with the keeps! I wundered why she wude totally hijack the elder scrolls! I totally hopped in my Mercedes Ferrari and I drove to totes rikkes house. She lived in a totally 2 storey house called bob. I pulled up to bob's driveway and totally got out of my car, the doros lift up cos cool. My chaefferu wated parientylu. I totally knocked on the door. Rikke's mum opened the totally designer door.

"hi is rikke there?"

"Yeah she's watching the latest eps of kimming up with kardashians! U better not disturb her."

"This is improtent!"

"hmm idk if anything is moar important than that show."

I wanked into rikke's room. She was on her 200 inch tv screen, coolly scrolling thru facebook and totally likimg the cool statuses abowt shopping, but totally ignoring the ones about like, totally politics and confusing stuff. I stormed into her totally room.

"RIKKE U HUJACKED THE ELDER SCROLLS!"

"wut?" she looked conused cos she totally dumb.

"When someone looks at an elder scroll they see keeping up with the kardashians instead of how to kill the totally eval anemone ALDAWIN."

"wow u r really stalk alduin, I think its kind of creepy."

"Umm he's eval?"

"so, dark fader is eval I don't stork him?"

"wtf, star wars is a totes nerdy movie, don't watch that. I have to defeat him to save skyrim!"

"but u don't kill him until skyrim high!"

"wut are you talking abowt?"

"I HAVE SEN THE FUTURE!"

Uh oh rikke had stolen all the elder scrolls and had seen the future! She had totally made them only show keeping up with the kardashians because she had frogtten how to turn on her tv! She was so dumb ugh I cringed.

I cudent believe I had to stop my own totes bestie so I could totally defeat the biggest fret this wurld had evar seen! I sighed sighaliciously. I checked my hair in the totes mirrior, my red totally hair looked good, it was time to totally save the werld! I put on the latest jams by one direcetion and danced out of the house. The only way to stop her was to stop kims with the kardahsians, only this was the skyrim version – Keeping up with the Kloaks, it was abowt the sotmrcloaks. Not about ulferic, he wasent in it it was abowt his assiast, Galmar stone fist who took over the show. Galmar was trying on his latest totally makeup. I hat to admit he looke dpritty cute in the pink eyeshadow, but I don't fink the blue sooted him. I reelised I hat totly bin distracted! I totes hopped on my horse, sahdowmere, she was a Porsche horse. I galloped across azeroth I meen skyrim and wented to the place where elder totally scrolls were created….. (dramatic cliffhanger)

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><p>Jk not really the chapter isent that short lol. Ok well I totally rode my trusty stallion to the Imprtieal city, it wos bin attacked by elves! Uh oh, I had to totally fight the elves, I like, totally, knocked them out I dident kill them that wud be meen. I reelised I didn't hav a plan to make them not keeping up with the kardashians anymore. I went to the arcane university in the imperal city and asked the smart argonen, Tar-Meena. Tar-totes-Meena looked at me, quizzically eyes. I cud tell she wos thinking hard. Sudden her eyes totally had an idea!<p>

"You have to take all the elder scrolls to Rikke's tv and say a rhyme to swap them The rhume is

Plz work  
>Or I will cri<br>I will die  
>From sad<br>So pls work lol

It was a deep work of poem, I felt emotions. It like, totally seemed Shakespeare. Even the greybeards hadn't thort of a rhyme so emotion or wise. Tarmeena was crying becos such good poem. I wunder who wrote it, it sed 'anonymous.'

Ok well I asked my friend the gay fox, who was the master thief in the thieves guild, to help me steal the elder scrolls. The grey totally fox ran up to the tower n totally stall the scrolls, but we realiced it wos too heavy to carry, I got overencumbered. I hat to totally use my draognshowt to call my frend odahviing, even tho it wos loud and the moth priests who were ment to look after the scrolls, but they were totally blind so they totes cudent evan see them lol, well tghey might hera the draognshot. But I showted O-DAH-VI – a moth prest herd me and ran up the towar, whos thar he asked but he cueent talk becos he was a moth, not rly lol I don't know why they are called moth lol.

OH NO ODAHVI, ODAHVIING'S EVIL BROTHER, APPEARED BECOS I ACCIDENTALLY SED HIS NAEM.

"Wut is going on here?" he arksed, he was smoking a bong becos he wos a drug addect. Uh oh he was going to steal all the elder scollrs n sell them so he cud afford moar drugs, kind of like how Rikke sold her bby on ebay so she cud afford moar outfits.

"Nothing, go away Odahvi, I meant to call Odahviing.'

'ODAHVIING IS ALIVE?" Odahvi was totes surpsied. He dropped his totally bong. He only tuuk drugs becos he wos so upset abowt losing his little bro. He thort Odahviing wos dead. Well he wos, all teh dragons hat toally died until alduin rased them from the die, but he wos all better now.

'" yes he am alive, do u wont me to summon him wif dragonshout?"

"PLS!" him eyes looked so happy.

"O-DAH-VIING!"

He appeared, wearing a fashion outfit. He looked a bit annoy. I arksed why. He sed "I wos tryin to watch keeping up with the kardashians, but all that wud appear on the tv were visions of the future!" Sudden he turn around. He seed odahvi.

"OMG, MY LONG LOST BROTHER!" they hugged, omg it wos a reonion. I smilled, there were tiers in my eyes.

But we still hat to get the elder scroll back to normel! I arksed if odahviing wud help carry the scroll, he did and Odahvi offered to help, he wos so nice and totally not eval at all. We flew back to SKyrim and went to toally rikke's house. We sed the rhume, oh no I had forgotten the rime!

I scrolled back up the page and found it…

Plz work  
>Or I will cri<br>I will die  
>From sad<br>So pls work lol

It twerked, everything wos ok ! We all had a party where we watched keeping up with the kardhasins, me, Rikke, Odahviing and Odahvi. It wos so happy. Yay happy ending omg yay!

* * *

><p>Hi everyone, I am have fun write fanfics! I reelised I have abowt 49 thowsand words of fanfictens on this accownt, that is phenominal. This fanficten and oblivvy hi are still got a few moar chaptars 2 write, and 1 moar chaptar of odahviing n of course skyrim high 2! woohoo carnt wate. Gonna try n uplowd a new chapter of a fanfic at least once every 2 week now, hopefully once a week. Yay carnt wait!<p> 


	15. Hildreannaleena and the Dwemer Machines

Delphine, the totally leader of Blades netball team, walked up to me. "We need to find frends to help fight alduon," she sed.

"I have lots of friends," I said informing her "I am the most popular girl in school."

"Yeah but brave friends who can slay a dragon!"

I thinked. Rikke was probs totally too dumb to slay a totally dragon, no offens to her or anything, but she wasent the birtest button in the box, as they say. Elisif was too elepgent and dainty to commt murdar. Mabye Ulfric cud help! He was a dragonbrn just like me, he could to the Thu'um, which is lyk this: FUS RO DAH! Who totes else? Hmm, Jarl Balgruuf the Greater, my friend who lived nearby in the cloud district. Maybe tullius leader of the imperial basketball team, would help. But wait, they were fight each other. I hat to oragnnise a peace treaty. I totally put an announcement over at school

"Could TUllius Ugly, Ulfric Stormcloak, Elenwen bithc and Jarl Blaagruuf the Grater please come to the office IMEEDIEATLY."

When Tullius and Elenwen arrivede they looked really angry, I couldn't work out why. "My last name is not ugly! That's just what my face looks like," sed Tullius totes angerly.

"And my name is not bith!" said Elenwen, but she wos lyin that was her name. No1 liked her, she was part of the totally Thalmor. They were the school reperesentative council. They wudent let any1 except 4 high elves in. High elves wer cold high elfves cos they smokd lots of magical weed, they thort it wos rly cool. She scowled, she wos constant anger.

"Ok guts, I said, time for lissenin to me, that's an honour cos I'm fablus I said jokingly, except it wasent rly a joke because I am totally fab/"

Every1 sat at the table lookin anger. "Ok, we need ppl to fite the dragen, Alduin, the school builly."

"I'll fite alduin becos he's not an elf," said Elenwen she was racism.

"I'll fite him cos not a nord," said totally Ulfirc.

Ok, this was makin me anger. I was a nord, but not a biggot. "Ok, the nekst person to say sumthin totally affensiv is gettin fed to my dog Punski," I said mentioning my pet dog.

"Ok, I want to fight Alduin because he stole my lunch money in freshman year, but I don't wanna fight alongside Ulferic, I hate him!"

Oh totes dear, this totally wasn't going well. "GUTS AND GIURLS! WE HAVE TO TOTALLY GETALONG WIF ONE ANOVVAR!"

"Sorry,' apopagised Jarl, evan tho he didn't do anything wrong.

"Its ok Jarl Balgruuf the Cheese greater," I said teasing him by calling him a cheese greater even though he wasn't.

Tullius looked at me wif his eyes full of hate, he didn't like me cos I made him break up from my bestie RIkke, she deserves some1 moar hansum.

"Every1 is gonna mayk a teem and be frends." I totally said.

"But I hate ppl who aren't elves." Sed Elenwen.

I fed her to my totally dog, then went to every1 who was left, I said inspiringly I raised my magical sword in the air and shouted , "FOR SKYREM!" we hopped on our horses and charged.

We charged all the way to the mall and bought some new outfits. I bought my horse shadowmere a cute designer horse outfit. He thort it was totally fashion, but I wosent quite sure cos hee totes cudent speak becos he was totally a horse. We were totes gallopin to buy subway for lunch when we saw sumthin eval goin on. Daydras! They were havin a party. They were rockin out to music, it was totally demonic music they were playin the skyrim theme backwards.

Laard um naagok niihaf, niikhavoD

It was so loud that we totally snuck up on them , I wos abowt to stab when I recognised Sanguine, he wos the daedric prince of rockin out.

"Lol hi, Sanguine." I said.

"Hi, Hildreannaleena. Wanna come to a party tonite?"

I was popular and got invited to all the parties, "Yes." I acepted.

* * *

><p>I was totes rockin out at the party, doing the collest dance moves. Sudden the doors burst opan dramatically. Elenwen came in, wtf who invited her. She wented upstares. This cud onli meen that she had a secret to hiyde. I flowered her upsteis.<p>

She was totally talking to sum1. I lissened closely.

"Hahhahaha! We will steel the dewmer artifcats and take over the wurld!"

I hat hurd of dwemer, the dwarves. they weren't rly short, Its just the pl who knew them were rly tall so they totes called them dwores. Thye hat advanced technlottallygy. They totally had iphone 6 in -2007 year. That was amaze. They were extinct, but them iphones so totes good they cud still wurk. I decided I totall wanted a dweemer ihpne.

"Hahahhahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamuahahhahahahaa

MUAHAHAHAHHHAHA" Elenwen was insane. She wos totes talking to her totally self. Then I reelsied she on a phon. Lol. She totes started cumming down the stares, uh oh I totally had to hide. I belnded in wif my totally sureroudning cos I was totes 100 sneak skill.

I snuck back through the party. I quickly danced becos my fav song, there's a party in the s.k.y (Skyrim) by Ciley myrus, was on.

I followed Elwen all the way to her house. It was totes an ugly house,, it looked like elven architecsur. Then she opened a trap door in the totes grownd that was hidden under a totally rug. Undernearth her house was a DWEMER RUIN

She snuck totally slowly, ugh it was so bore. Then she stopped to have a totes snack, an apple that had bin in a barrel for 1000 years. It was sooooooooooo totes gross! She countinued alung the corrider. She sneaky walked along, carful not to disterb any traps. She totes arrived in a room with a big sphere, it looked like a jigsaw totally puzzle. She pulled out a totes remote control and it turned into a GIANT MACHINE. Oh no the ginat totally machine was been controlled by elenwe, oh totes yikes. It totally detected me. I turnt arownd and run as fast as I cud, which was pritty fast, towards the totally exit. Sudden I saw M'aiq the liar, my frend whos addicted to skooma. He offered Elewen some skoom. She totes anger and swaushed him.

"M'AIQ!" I showted. I cudent leaf him, but id die if I didn't run. I am a noble prsn and I went bck to rescue. I totally Fus ro dah'd the machine totally back to gane sum time and cast a totes healing spell on M'aiq. He was ok. I totally started running again, the totes machine was catching up. I felt fear, which is the totally emotion you feel when you are scared.

I reelised the trap door was just above me. I went thru, the machine totally dident fit, thank the nein divenes.

But it wosent the same trap door id come in thru. It led to a secret place id only heard of in legends!

* * *

><p>Hi all thx for reedin, idk wht this chapter even is lol. I had to have the peace treaty from skyrim in it but I forfgot what totes happened lol, I haven't dun the mane story in so lung! Then I thort it wud be fun for Hildreannaleena to fite a different enmy from alduin. Hope you enjoyed!<p> 


	16. Hildreannaleena Goes to Black Marsh

I was totes in a place only hurd of in miths and legands! I was insiyde Black Marsh, the rumered setting for the sixth elder scrawls game! I looked arownd, it was a marsh that's why it was totally called balck marsh. I totally was in a villeg. I saw an argonen, him name was Quest-Giver. Argonens often have describe names.

"Hi, can you kill 5 boars and collict cacti?" he totes asked.

I wos amazed by the graohics, I wos worried my compooter wud totally crash – wait what idk what im totally talking abowt lol, brakin the forth wall.

I turnt arownd and saw… Forestalieramberina! Her eyebrows looked like totes caterpillars, and she had dyed her hare totes wite.

She ignort me, thankfilly. I totes sed to Quest-Giver, sorry I cant be bother doin your quest. I ran away, usin my totes wuld dragen showt to go fastly.

"Omg, are you the dragonborn?" arksed Quest-Giver.

"Yeah, y?"

"Omg, from the elder scrawls skyrim?"

"Yep."

"Omg, im ur biggest fan, can I haf ur autograph?"

I wos so onnered that he wonted my totes autogiraffe, I sined a screenshot of me.

"How did u get hear?" he totes asrks.d

Idk, I just took a trap door, runin away from Eleenwen who is eval and I took a troop dar. It totes led hier! "I answered."

"Omg, are you ttotes trapped in the future?"

I cried, I was totally trapped in the future. I hat bin trapped in the past b4, I totes just used an elder scroll to get back, and wuns Odahviing sed he got trapped in morrowind time with the totes Neverarine, but this mite be totes different cos it was the future instead of the pasta.

"Donut cry! I know how to get back," said totes Quest-Giver.

"Omg you du?"

"But first you have to totally do my quest, you have to collect 6 cacti and kill boars!"

Fine I totes sed. I am an animel rites activist so I totally dodnt kill the boars, I just collected the cacti. A boar totes came up to me, he luked scared. Him name Porkchops.

"Hi, do u remember me?"

"No," I sed, we had nevar met.

"I live from the Imperal city arena."

"Idk, I'm from skyrim not cyrodiil."

"Oh lol, well I used to help ppl in the arena. Now I decided to start a new life in Black Marsh, but Quest-Giver kips makin ppl keel me!"

"That is not friendy."

I went back to totes Quest-Giver, I gave him the cacti. He totes sed, thx.

"So are you gonna hilp me get back to totes Skyrim time now?" I asked.

"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! I was only trickin u, I tricked you into find those cactius, they are not any cactus, they are magical evil daydra cactus from Molag Bal realm of oblivion, they take you to elder sc rolls online time! And them boars not really boars, they magical dragons that guard the curten betwin this relm and the relm of the dead, now the unded tayke over the wurld!"

* * *

><p>I wos confuse, this sownded like a storyline to a totes bad book. I had not plaid the elder scrolls ponline anyway cos it came out 400 years ago wen I wosent born.<p>

Quest-totes-Giver evil laff again, like totes Jafar from Al totes addin.

I looked at Porkchops, confusen in my eyes.

"Never trust a quest giver," he sed wisely.

"how do I get back?" I wos depseration. I hat no idea how to return to my own totes time.

But porkchops had a totes wise look in him totally eyes. He knew how to get back, I cud terll from the wise look.

"Follow me!"

"Ok," I sed, but he totes dident go anywear.

"No, I ment follow me on instagram and ill help u."

Wow so demanding, ok I totes followed him on instagram.

Sudden he totes open a portal! A magical portal! It was totally swirl.

Oh my totes gott, totally Elenwen on her machine came trhu.

I was totally feelin fear.

Pork totally chops look scare, but he totally brave. He charge at the eval machine and killt it. Elenwen hopped out. She looked anger.

"I wud totally kill you, but im running late for hairdresser appointment! I need a manicure, u guys ruined my nales." She ran back thru the totes portal.

I totally ran after her, but not for my hairdresser appointment, my hair wos totally already perfect.

I was totally standing in Markarth, a city in totally syrim. I saw my totes best friend Rikke, I had to tell her abowt my adventer. Then I totally went to school becos I felt like it.

I totally walked into history class, our teacher was Paarthunax. "Ok today we are lernin abowt the Dragonburn who saved Skyrim from the dragens."

"Umm, I alreddy know becos I am the drahgonborn." I informinged/

"Wtf, Hildreannaleena, detenshun."

Sudden, some1 totally came into the classroom, it was totes QUEST-GIVER.

"U don't even go to this school," I sed.

Muahahhaahhaah he lughed, he was evil, he used his magec time travel cactuses to come to skyrim time! He totes used his new technogology from the future, a flying car. He flew out the window. I totes wondered why he wud fly away, then I realisation. HE HAD STOLEN MY TOTALLY PENCIL! I was so anger, that cost me 50 cents. I totally felt my true form takin over becos of anger. I am dragonborn, the humen with a soul of a dragon, I was turning into a dragon!

* * *

><p>Hi guys. If you played obliven you will recugnise Porkchops, my favrit charactar. He a boar that helps you in the arena quest. Anyway, I thort it wud be gud to have a time travel forward instead of pasta times like usually. I hope you enjoyed. I will be writin a new chapter hopefully tonite.<p> 


	17. Hildreannaleena saves Skyrim as usual

I cud totally feel my true form ttakin over, the dragen that was my soul became my totally fissical form too! I felt the trqansfurmation. My totally perfect manicured nails turnt into long claus. My totally buutiful red hair turned into feersum spikes. My totes bueatiful perfect body became scales, I totes felt wings sprowtin from my totally back. The transform was complete. Everyone looked at me in fear, they were shock. I roared fearsome. I pulled my totes iphone 7 out and looked in the front camera, which was a crips image becos I got my new phone only last totally week. I was a beautiful dragon, I had totally red scales like my hair. I took a quick selfie and uploaded it on teh Instagram. I totally hashtag #dragonselfie and my new frend porkchops the boar had already liked it because he from the future.

I totally had to chase the eval Quest-Giver. Now that I could fly it wos easy to catch up to him, even though he was drivging his flying Mercedes-bends. I saw him and shouted FUS RO DAH and his totally car got knocked out of the sky. He croed becos it was expensiv and he coodent afford one becos he was a totes argonian and they are poor.

U may be askin, why did you never turn into a dragon before in all those totes danger situations you were in, Hildreannaleena? Well the anser is that I was never this anger b5.

I rord wif anger, I wud get that pencil that! I realisd he had also stolen all my totally makeup! I was even moar anger. A crowd gaffered to watch this dramamtic showdown, Dragon vs Argonian, One scaly creature vs another.

Quest-Giver laffed evilly, but I was extreme angry. I breathed fir, going yolo tor shul! Which is the dragon shout for fire. He totally pulled out a magical sord, it was called the Swurd of a Thousand Truths, jk, it was called the Swurd of Super Dragon Slaying. The swurd could shoot oyut litnin bolts! One of them hit me, I got electrocuted it wos like when u accidentqlly touch an electroic fence it wos totes not fun. I gathered all my energy for a draog n shout which shattered the swurd. He was upset, he quickly ate some potatoes for health regen and totally made a new sword out of the remains of his car. I waited patently. He called the mew sword Swurd of Dragon Slaying 2 and threw it! It totes hit me in the face/.

My beautiful designer face! I was so upset, I cried. Falanu Hlaalu sudden arrived. She wanted my dragon tears for her alchemy expriement.

I sudden had an idea! I made a sowrd out of Falanu Hlaalu, I called it the annoying swurd. I used my sword to hit totally Quest-Giver in the face.

But he was also not in his totally true form. He was….. (dramticf cliffhanger)

* * *

><p>HE WOS AN EVAL SORCARAR! "Muahahahah, my name is not Quest-Giver, it is Eval-Sorcarar!" he sed, his voice sounded evil. He totally started a totes spell. It wud blow up the world! Uh totes oh, I hat to stop him. I went rorar. Then I totally FUS RO DAH! But not just any fus ro dah, I sed it in a megaphone. It tpta;;y mad4e him fly all the way to Hammerfall. I cudent totes be bothered going there, but I dident tpotally have to becos he totes tellepured all the way back. He was anger at his spell getting interrupt. I new there wos only one opten left – I had to use all my dragon shouts at once!<p>

I USED EVERY DRAGON SHOUT AT WUNS and died.

But I was not totally ded, I wos actelly still alive. I look around, confuse. Everythink seemed different. Everything was totally ashes. I saw Eval-Sorcarars car remains, then I saw him ded body. I looted it, I found four gold, a totally robe that sold for 2000 gold, a signed pic of me totes worth 5678555523 gold becos I am very fame, I am the totally dragonborn. I totally realized what was wrong. I wasent no more a dragon, I was a humen again! I was relieved, my designer nails and clothes were intact. I fixed my eyeliner which got smudged then went to a dress the crowd.

"I have defeeted the eval sorcirar, I declared."

Everyone cheered. "Hildre totes anna totally leena, you are our totally hero," sed emporer Titus mede the empire of Cyrodiil. He gave me an award and since he is also the prinatep of our totes hi school, he let me havea party at school.

I was so excited for the party, there were totally banners everywhere that said "Yay thx Hildreannaleena for save the world as usual."

I was so happy, I totally wore a purple dress which my totally mum bort me for a reward for been such a gud prsn.

Everyone wanted my autograph like Quest-Giver did, but they dident turn into evil sockerers.

We all dansed and partied, my besties Rikke and Elisif danced with me, I cud see totally Argis the Bulwark, a totally cute nord who was a housecarl in markarth. Next week I wos goin on an excursion there, I cudent wait. I totes saw Lydia, she wasw my housecarl at my house, she wos a bit weird and stalker.

We danced to the popelar songs by beyoence, one dricetion, Justin barber and the wanted. It was so groovy. We had lots of driks, but not alcoholic wuns becos this is a schul event and yur not alowd alcel at school.

But little did any1 reealise that there wos an eval presens lurkin arownd, reddy to turn everyer1 into werecaterpillars!


	18. Hildreannaleena and the Werewolf

Sudden the wurld had totally shrunk! Somethin wos wrong, as usel in this story becos a story is not very interesting withowt a problem to solve. This is a totally good story, it is my diary, therefore it is well ritten becos I am totes smart, and the speeling is totes good and the storyline is interesting and ther are no continuity errars. Ok where wos I, oh yeah the world had grown, somefing hat gorne rung, I thinked wif my smart totally branes. But I totally cudent cum toa cunclisen. I arksed my smart totally friend, Elisif, what was wrong. She wos totally blonde but really smart in contrary to common missconceptens abowt blonde ppl. Wait, she wosent totes blonde though, she wos a caterpillar and they don't have hair!

Uh totally oh, what had happened? I used my totally powers to get back to normal, careful not to step on the ppl. I looked at the punch, it must have totally been spiked with the blood of werecatipplears to make ppl werecatieler. Well I had to get the totally antidote… wait! I totes spinned arownd. There wos only one other humen in the room, Rikke! She had a totally evil daydric artefact – the wabbajack! It weas sheogorath, the dadric lawd of chaos and silliness it wos his phone. It cud turn ppl into deifferent animels, oh no everyone got turned into a sheep! I totally no, I cud hear sirens. It was the totally Whiterun guard police, coming to arrest Rike for steal a phone!

I totallied. This was not a good sityooatchen. Why did Rikke have to be so dumb, she probs dident even totally understand what she had totes done. The police came in, rdy to arres, with handcuffs. Uh totes oh, the policemen were Kyler and another dude.

"Excuse me, we're lookin for Legate Rikke." Said another dude. OH NO THEY WUD ARREST HER.

I used a totally magical spell to invisible her. I hiccupped which was totally not rly a hiccup, it wos actuelly HIDE I said it in dovahzul, the dragon langeg which we all lurn at skewl so she knew what I wos sayn. "I do not totally know where she is," I told, it wos a lie I did rly know.

"Oh ok, why is evry1 a sheep?"

"Idk."

"Damb it, now we carnt tell which one is wearing the ugly dress to arrest," said Kyler.

"What?"

"We're the fashion police, here to arrest Legate Rikke for wear an ugly dress."

"ohhhhhh lol, that's ok then, shes over there." I pointed behind the totally curtain rikke was hide, she wos eval. Wait schools don't normelly have curtains, she wos hidin behind a cupboard. Ok well she wos hide there, and the policemans were arrest her. They were right, her dress wos ugel. It was brown with yellow stripes. It looked 1950s. I was shocked my totes bestie wud wear somethink so ugel. She totally needed fashion lessons from Odahviing. Uh oh Rikke was anger. She totes felt betrayed by me. She so anger that her dress burst into flames and it turned out it wosent rly Rikke, it wos an eval GOLDEN SAINT. Ja I know that sownds weird, but golden saints r servents of sheograth.

"Muahhahaaahhaahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahhahhahaaaahahahahahahahahahahahzhahahahahahahahahaaaaaa" she sownded like Scar, if you watch the song from the lion king be prepared in Russian and hear his eval laugh at the end that's how totally diabolical it sounded.

Kyler got burnt to ashes by the flames from the dress, sucks to be him lol. Oh totes no, where wos totally Rikke?

I quickely killed the eval golden saitn and stole her totally hairdo which wos fash3enable. Then I totes stole her sword too and Another dude dident arrest me becos he wos a fashen police, not a normel one. I totes had to find Rikke, oh no she had disappeared.

* * *

><p>I looked in the most obves place first: the bathroom where she mite be doon her makeup. Uh totes oh, she wos not there. Mabye she wos in the totes crowd dancing. Nope. Maybe she had totally gorn home. What if she thort my party wos totsally terribol? My eyes wortered wif teers at the thort.<p>

Sudden I wos blinded by a dress unbelievably beautiful! It wos the most totally dramatic etrance I had ever seen. A dregen burst the doors open to the skewl. It wos Odahviing! He wos wearin a fabulus sparkle dress, which was golden like the sun evan tho it wos totally nite and the sun does not come out at night. Rikke wos ridin, her dress wos evan moar buutiful! It wos red, the coller that soots her best. It wos also sparkle, it wos gorgeus. She looked like a totally magical princess.

"Sorry abowt late, she sed."

Everu1 wos totes captivarted. They looked at her amzed.

She wos now the centre of attenshun, which I dident mind becos im not arrogent or jellus or anything.

Oh no, everyone wos so distracted by rikke that they didn't notice the totally assassin sneak into our midst. I turnt arownd, it wos none other than astrid! I totally glared at her, but she dident notice. I saw her totes bf Arnbjorn. Aww, a romaentic. Oh totes no, she walked right past him. She walked up to Nazir, who wos a redgurd frum the dark brotherhood.

"Hey totes nazir, sed astrid."

"Hello astrid," he sed and then they started makin out! Arnbjorn saw, uh totes oh. Him facial expressun looked upset. Then him silver eyes narrowed in anger. Oh totes no, I cud feel tensun in the air. Somethin dramtic wos abowt to happen…

ARNBJORN SUDDENLY HOWLED, HE GREW FUR AND A FLUFFY HED HE WOS A WEREWOLF.

"go team Jacob!" he totally shouted then set on his missen to kill asrrid and naxir, not carin how many totally innocent bysanders got in the way!


	19. Hildreannaleena and the Gothic Gangster

Oh my totes god, the totally werewolf was rippin thru the croud, they wud all die if I dident toally do sumthink! I knew exactly what to do, becos I am totally hildreannaleena, totally the like, totes dragonborn. I am like so, totally, like smart. Yeah. O totes k, where were we? Oh yeah, the werewolf, I knew only silver cud kill a werewolf. Well, it wos a good totally thing I was wearin my silver necklace and matching earings in the shape of a dagger that nite. Saved by fashion! I totally ran up to the were totes wolf, wieldin the silver dagger. It wos totally small, but oh well. I stabed him! But it wos too small dagger, it dident do anythink eggsept make him anger! Oh totes nine devines, I wos in big treble! I cudent fite the werewolf, becos I am just an ordinary grill. In stories like these perfectly capable gerls sudden become helpless when they need a stong man to save them! Thank gop, a totes guy came to save me, he wos Virkas, from the compagnes, a group of wwarriers that made up of Aela the huntress, who all the byos in the schul totes had a crush on becos she was a cool huntress girl. And farkas was vilkas' totally brother. He wos totes cute, teehee. Any totes way, Vilkas totally romantic saved me! I totes looked into his cute silver eyes, a totally unique colour. All cute ppl have unique eyes, like purple, silver or gold, espeshally ancient princesses.

"I will defend you, Hildre totes annaleena."

"I know, ur strong and brave!" we kisst romkanticly. It wos so romans. Then he gave me a flower to show how totally much he loved me. Then he wos totes abowt to fite the were totally wolf, but I had a thort.

"Viklis, we totally have to change our relatrnship staytus on fecesbook! I sed."

"oh my totally Hircine – I mean Akatosh, yes we totes do!" He totally pulled out his Samsung galaxy s6. I dident like Samsungs becos they cause green bubbles, but he wos cute so it wos ok. He opened his facebook app and changed his relatiolship static to in a relationship with Hildreannaleena Duvetkin. I also made him my relationship, and quickly liked Rikke's selfie in her pritty dress.

"Goodbye, my love!" I said becos that's what skyrim ppl say when you leave them, even if its only for 2 seconds. We kissed romantily again. Then he am fite the werewolf!

Sudden he howl! Him skin turn into fur, him nose grow long. Him grow a tail! He howled… AWROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. The full moon dramatic peek between the grey clowds. He jump in front of me to defend me from the eval werewolf., like in that totally scene in twilight when totally Jacob defends Bella from the werewolf, omg im so team Jacob, aren't u? He awrooooo. He didn't kill the eval werewolf, that is totally illegal. Instead he knock him out. The police am appear, not the fashion police this time the normal ones. Not kyler, him leg broken so he in hispotal. I totally looked at Vilkas, anger.

"You no tell me you a werewolf!"

"Sry bbyz."

"Im dumping you!" to totally show I meant it, I changed my relationboat status on fb to single. He looked devastate, he cry!

Falanu hlaalu appear. "The teers of a werewolf also useful. Almost as useful as dragon tears!"

I angried, but didn't say anything in case the police arrested me.

Instett, I wented home in my car, Shadowmere. I had had enuff for one night. I had a magical shoiwer in the blood of the dragons I had slain then went to bed. I had a dreem abowt a strange land, called draenor. In it was a rly anger orc, he was upset becos his bf cheat on him! He cheated on him for 7 people too. That's rly bad. Then suddenly everyrone started twerking, it wos an epidemic! I woke up, wow that wos a weird dream. I totally had some alcool for brekfest becos I am a badass. It was Saturday, so I didn't go to school because there is no school on a Saturday. Instead I did my other favroute past time, shopping.

At the shopping mall, I was deciding between the smoky coloured eyeshadows or the pretty pink ones. I decided the smoky ones looked more beeutfil, they emphasised my eeyes. I was so totes beautiful with my new mkeup on! I took a totally selfie and uploaded it on instagram, I got 27 likes in one second! One of them wos from my new friend, Porkchops. I hashtagged #eyesbrowsonfleek. All of a suddenly, I heard a loud noise! Maybe it was Rikke totally trying to sing, she wasn't very good at it no offence to her. Oh my totes no! It was the fire alarrem. I knew how fires started – dragens! There wos a dragon somewhere in this mall, and it wos one of Alduin's gang. It wos….

Elargmir! He totes rawwwr. He wos wearin his gangster clothes, he wos a totally bikie. He was wearin a leather jacket with spikes on it, a collar becos he liked dogs, a bullet belt, some black leather pants, and some heavy leather boots which also had spikes on them. He wos wearin eyeliner like a goth. He was totally a goth. His leather jacket had on a black veil brides tshirt underneath it. That is the most goth band. Him also had some leather cuffs, damn this boy was a badass! I totally was wearin even more fashion clothes, some light blue genes and a pretty top with a flower design, and a cute cardigan on it to keep to warm. I looked so totally beautifl. The dragon laffed at me. He was abowt to use his gangster bikie goth dragon shout on me. But I wos faster, I used my totally dragon shout. FUS RO DAH! He went flyin out the window. I laughed, then I totally rmemebred something. He wos a dragon, and DRAGONS CAN FLY!

He flew back up, anger. He went FUS RO DAH! And I went flyin, not out of the window tho. Then he went 'MOTORBIKE!' and I totally gotten runned over by a motorbike, it wos painful.

But I cud deal with pain, becos I am the dragonborn and am strong. I totally rose like a feenix (no not the song by conchita wurst that won eurovision 2014) from the ashes, except there weren't any ashes becos I did not get burnt like kyler. I used my power dragon shout, UR EYELINER SUCKS! He started cryin, it ruined his eyeliner and he lost his power becos all his goth power was in his eyeliner. But he still had his gangster bikie power! He totes hopped on his dragon motor bike and tried to run me over. But I was fast. He got angery and fusstrated, he used his gangster powers to get on his mobile phone which he stole off an old lady becos he is totally mean, and called Alduin. Alduin appear. Omg, not just Alduin, his whole gang! Uh totes oh, I had to kill them all at once!

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><p>Hi everyereon! I am so glad you have read this many chapters of the adventures of Hildreannaleena. This is the penultimate chapter, meening the secund last. But don't worry, we still have 1 more chapter of Oblivion High to go, the oblivion high Christmas special, and of course Skyrim High 2! Stay tuned for more adventures of Hildreannaleena, Megelieramberina and other characters with unnecessarily long names!<p> 


	20. The Grand Finale

This wose a totally stressful sityooachen. I dident know how I wos gonna kill the whole gang at wuns! I am totes strong, but not strong enuff to defeet so menny draguns. They all had their motorbikes and totally jackets and spray paynte cans becos they are totally bikie gansters. Sudden I thinked, then realised. I got out my makeup remover, hoepfrully it could totes remove the grafeeti off the woles. It werked! I cheered becos I wos happy, and that's wot ppl totally do when they are hapy. Uh totes oh, they were anger. What wos I gonnea do? They totes had GUNS. Guns haven't even been invented yet in skyrim.

Sudden I hear a noise. I totally heard the windows brakin. Odah totes viing burst thru! Along with him bro Odahvi. And Rikke and Elsiif were ridin the dragens! Then totally my other firend M'aiq the liar came in, he had stolen one of Elenwen's dworf mmahcens.

"This am mine machine," he sed, but he was lie, becos he is name M'aiq the liar because he totally was a compule liar.

I like, totally was so harpy. Not like the totes mytherligical creatcher, but like the emoten. Totally M'aiq had skooma, an illegal durg. Sudden Alduin's eyes went wide and lit up happy when he totally saw the skooma.

"Myeeq, I will buy the skooma," he sed. He wos rich becos his dad Akatosh owned a cumpany. He got 500 gold pocket money a week. I wos so totally jelly, even I wosent that rich. But my mum bort me an iphowne last week, it was the newest totes modle. An iphone 6s. I took a quick totally selfie with the crisp new camera, the canada on my phone wos rly good becos its new.

"M'aiq will only sell you skooma if you not bash up his friend Hildreannaleena," said totally m'aiq. He speaks in fourth person becos he's a khajiit and they do that for sum raisin.

Alduin wayed up the desishun. He rly needed drugs becos he wudent be a proper ganster otherwise.

"Fine, how much?" he finely sed.

"I will sell u the skooma for 400g/"

"ok, fien!" he bort the skooma.

Then him mum appear!

"Alduin, what are you doen?"

"I am just hangin out wif my frends!"

"No ur not, I saw u buyin skooma!"

Alduin looked rly upset. Being bashed up repeatedly is one thing, but getting yelled at by your mum is another. I cud see he wos totally holdin back tear. It not cool to totes cry in front of ur friends.

"UR THE WORST MUM EVEAR! YOU GOT ME A WHITE IPHONE INSTEAD OF A BLACK ONE WHICH I ASKED FOR!" he threw him phone at her.

"ALDAWIN U R BEIN UNGRAETFUL, I AM SICK OF UR BAHEVAR!"

Uh totes oh, all the shoppers looked at totally us as if we were all insane. It wos very embarrass.

In all the totally chaos, m'aiq stole him totally skooma back and Alduin dident even totally notice.

"Alduin, you give me the skooma I saw you buyn rite noe!" demanded Alessia, Aldeun mother.

He feeled arownd in him pocket, but cudent find the skooma. "I don't have any."

"U R LIE!" She grabed the jacket and felt for skooma, but all she fownd wos his 100gold remainding pocket munney.

"wow, u r rite. I am sorry for accuse you Alduin," then she went away to go shopping. She is a very classy lady, she wore heels and totally red lipstick, the classiest colour. I wos jelly of hhefr totally fashen. I saw her go into Le Petit Fumier, my fav clothes shop, so I followed her and bort some classy clotghes. I looked in the totally mirror, oh my nein devines, I looked amaze. Sudden Alessia appeared.

"Wow hildreannaleena, I like your style!" she sed. I was so flattened!

The next day was totally the last day of schuel. We all celerbreated. I wore my new totes ouitfit which wos much admired, it constisted of a cute blue dress and a totally black high heals boots. The designer boots were by Mercedes-Benz which is a fancy compeny. It wos a hot day, it wos summar. We totally had first class was history, tort by paarthrunax.

"Ok today I am gonna teech u the hsitry of summer. Once upon a time a gurl called Megeliereamberina invented summer so she cud wear her summer designer clothes as well as her winter designer clothes."

"WTF THAT IS WRONG!"

"No it isen t, this is wot it says in the book!"

"That's becos Megerliermabina REWROOT the history," I angried.

I wos still annoyed, but I went to the netx totally class. It wos blacksmithing. We got to make pretty flower shaped shields. Mine wos obs the pritest.

We were in owr last class for the day, which wos Tamrielish. We had to rite an essay abowt the draognbron. Obviesly I cud rly well since I am the dragonborn.

_The dragomborn is called hildreannaleena. She has fabulous red totally hair, and beautiful, piercin lite blue eyes, the colour of the top of a lite milk bottle cap. Her eyebrows are perpetually on fleek._

Sudden I was interrupted, I heard a noise. It wos totally a forst dragon, he wos anger. He hated summer becos he likes cold only. He wos gonna freeze skyrim!

I totlly grabbed my sword, it wos a designer sword by colgate. The dragon looked thru the window, I saw her designer makeup. I dident have time to admire becos he wos abowt to freeze the schul! I FUS RO DAH but it did nothin. O totes k, I knew what to do! Frost dragons are allergic to totally fire. I went YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR SHUL! And she cort fire. Ahhhh she said, she scream, she die.

"Yay! Hildreannaleena you saqved the school as usual!" every1 said.

I quickly finished my essay abowt myself, then totally the bell rang. I cheered, SCHEWL WOS OWT!

Summer yay! Next year wos gonna be a big year, I cud feel it. I hopped in my Porsche Shadowmere which had glowing red headlights and I wented home. This wos a good first year at skyrim totally high school, I cudnet wate for the next year! But furst it wos summer holidaisy. I went to the beach with my bffs, Rikke and Elisif. We bort ice cream, it wos flaver dragon blood.

Sudden I found a massage in a bottle! I read the note

_Deer Hildreannaleena, _

_Next year is very eventful. So eventful it will becum a fanfic called Skyrim High!_

Wot a foreboding message!

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><p>Thanks everyone, gracias. I hope you enjoyed the adventures of Hildreannaleena. It wos a long and exciting journey, 20 whole chapters! Like 20 thousand words! I am thinking of writin a full length novel! In two days is Christmas, so my chsitams present for my luvely fans is gonna be Oblviion high Christmas speshal. Then new years special of skyrim high. Then….. skyrim high 2! Thanks everyone for read my ficeten. I know speln and grammer and continetny are not my stong points, but pls forgiv, it is not nise to poynt out ppls floors. Does Hildreannaleena do that? No, she am not! So aspire to be like her, a strogn gurl charactar who dusnt need to bring ppl down to fill better abowt herslef!<p>

Ok everyone, fanks so much for read! I luv u 3


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